If you know anything about anything at all about me, you will know my heroes. They are passionate and eloquent, and thirst to know of the world and themselves. Where enrichment and fulfillment come from experiences big and small, that touch, move and eventually mold you. It is about change.

Show me the sights and sounds, smells and tastes of who you are. Tell me stories of history and the day-to-day. Who are you? So that instead of living in my micro-cosmic world, with glass walls. That I might share a glimpse of a world, a life, and a time other than my own and apply it to mine. To be more humble, worldly and become a citizen of the world, because clearly, I have a long way to go.

So I step out of the shower and looked myself in the mirror. I'm still a little drippy as you can imagine and as I towel off I look at my shoulders and wonder to myself what they carry (figuratively of course).

Do big ambitions and more specifically mine equate to guaranteed success. I see classmates and friends who are so absolutely hungry for the career, hungry for the success. Here is my question, does desire in its varying levels determine the resultant level of success?

The two sides of the coin presented are that

1.) On many occasions it falls back to purely having proper business sense peppered with the right luck at the right time.

and

2.) The foundation on the flip side being that "Necessity is the mother of invention", and that "A dog is most dangerous when backed in a corner." You get what I'm getting at.

I myself like to take the stand that on some cosmic level it will all unfold as it was written. But then again it could just be the voices in my head masked by insecurities telling me that since I am too afraid to try and fail that I should leave it in the hands of a "so-called" Higher Power. So having isolated the thoughts, we proceed to the all important "Where do we go from here?". Thoughts examined and not acted upon are worth little more than a hand-full of beans, but i need to clarify these thoughts. Deep seeded insecurity? or Lack of Motivation?

Contemplation shall tell all..

I watch a lot of Tv, and a lot of my blog entries basically spur from hearing something insightful and relate able and letting my thoughts run due discourse down the cobbled path. Now that being said I
realize that my past few posts might have come off as overly.. how do I put this.. serious and somewhat angsty. Believe me, I don't like reading them much either, but that aside I think it is important I go back to posting about insightful enlightening things in hope that it brings a breath of welcoming uplifting fresh air to you, the reader.

What I've noticed is that the "unhappy" posts are really just the voices in my head going off and rambling about my gripes and whatnot. I want nothing more than to let you ponder the questions and make you feel empowered in the course of my posts. So there, Lets get back to posting hearty insightful, grounded posts. :)

Okay I don't think this is at ALL insightful but it might move you anyways. You know what I really miss about being with someone? I miss holding them to sleep (By them i mean ONE partner, not numerous) . For me, there is a wonderful feeling of security and warmth in holding someone and dreaming side-by-side, noses touching and sharing breaths. Having them gaze at you and smile while the Rhythmic heart beats and kisses on the forehead send them off to slumber before falling asleep myself.

That I miss..

It occurred to me today in class while I was struggling to focus on the discussion that I am essentially very Utilitarian. I have the habit of instinctively questioning the motives and reasons for which people say or do things, and it irks me when they serve no overall purpose or if the objective is trivial. Saying something vague and cliche to sound intelligent, or purely for the sake of being heard, is an example of this and falls under one of my major pet peeves. I DO pride myself on being able to weed out peoples real intentions quite quickly and accurately, maybe because it has become all too easy to spot those who really have nothing to contribute except hot air and their own bloated images of self worth.

It seems in my world of reasoning, what it all boils down to really is what function and purpose does the action serve and do the entailing actions follow suit. Having said that, I can't help but wonder if my objectivity acts as a constraint to personal growth. I don't mean to put anyone on ice when they are around me, but I do feel that people who are true to themselves and what they stand for should not and will not feel worried or at all uncomfortable.

But before you dub me a stiff robotic heartless being, let me just say that this side of me only and I DO mean only, comes to play with regards to work. Of course play in itself is an entirely different matter. :)

There you go. My self discovery for the month checked off..

Just my usual Rant and Banter..

I can't help but feel a little jaded now and again.
Maybe its the occasional realization about
how hard it is to find a nice girl out there. One who
is smart, and not overly demanding. Spontanious
and out going. Clingyness is also a big nono. Of course
its more complicated than that and the requirement
list goes on for several more pages. But it doesn't stray
much from the norm, for instance

sweet, easy going, intelligent, must like the occasional party,
pretty, good dress sense, street smart, extroverted, down
to earth.

I don't think thats outrageous in the least. There must be a
tonne of girls out there who fulfill these requirements, just
that they happen to be missing from MY social circle..

Ah well.. i shall leave my grumbling at that...