I haven't posted in awhile. I just felt I was so past the stage of emotional rants and poems and peeves, but in giving up this blog, I also gave up somewhere to express love and gratitude. A lot has happened since. Graduation, a new and fantastic girlfriend, job disappointment and my general ups and downs. Typing this feels odd yet familiar, like how i would imagine using a typewriter might feel like. You get the words out there, but in a less than ideal almost clunky fashion.

Today I feel.. the NEED to say, and announce to whoever, about how she has just shocked me. I even had an 'inception' moment when she spoke the words that made me reflect what I was doing and with her precision tact, slapped me into looking into my mental blindspot. :) I don't get that, "oh what a fool i have been" moments much, but if i was looking into a mirror, i'd be looking at a clown. (clowns are evil btw).

Let us recap.

I really need to get off my ass with regards to being a better well-rounded person. That means reading more widely, applying more extensively, learning about industries.

I need to affirm and be affirmative with what i want and the things i believe in. Pacifying is NOT a way out. On that note, tact and delivering the proper information to the right people to create the "Ideal" situation should always be at the back of my mind. Leave the right tracks, and the train will follow, so to speak.

I need to believe that honest communication will prevail and take us where we need to go. Being mindful of course that women speak with a host of diabolical traps and snares, beneath that are loving caring intentions.

She is love, a great one. One I hope to never lose.

with that I give you, my first post in 7 months. :)

Everyday presents itself, a lesson, maybe more.
All we have to do, is be open enough to receive it.
They reach and speak to us in the most profound
of ways, jerking our every being and shaking our
perspectives. They may not always be wrapped
neatly in a little package, some might even take
lots of deep searching, but they hold the key to
groundedness.

"Always Remember", "Never Forget"

I love words like these. They sound a tad young and foolhardy, but I don't think they are. Events that shape us, moments in life, the people we love and those that love us. I even remember saying to myself how I wanted to get that tattooed on my chest, over my heart.

I remember.. what it feels like to blog. To spread my feelings and insight onto a page for me, just for me. And it feels a little foreign, and jerky, but also reminds me and pulls me back into self reflection.

"Being still and doing nothing are two very different things."

There are times when we should, no we must.. be still. And quieten the thoughts that run us, the voices that scare us, and our own voice. Deep breaths and quiet spaces, empty minds make for a peaceful heart. Be still racing heart, anger, fear and doubt never accomplished anything.

Be still racing heart.

Revelation..

Maybe saying " I'm not afraid anymore.", and embracing
the future is what I need to deal with it and move on.. :)