I've been running around alot lately
doing God knows what at god knows where.

Pageant stuff, working at the Singapore Int
Photography Festival and watching Live Contender
fights. Brushing my work aside and staying
up till all hours to rush completion.

I'm normally not that last minute, but this sem
i've really let myself go.

Sucks
to
be
me

She's a trooper..

Lying on the bed, head propped up against some pillows,
she lies an old women. Around her the dimly lit ward filled
with lost faces, all of which tired and worn. And a smile creeps
across her face when we approach. Comfort she desperately
seeks, desperately needs. She squints through eyes that have
seen too much, and reaches out her hand to feel my touch,
and I squeeze back sending all the reassurance i can muster.
Her rough hands show hardship, her journey, her struggle.
She looks up through glazed eyes, longingly at the future
he has worked so hard for, which she now firmly grasps in
her hands, a manifestation of blood and flesh. She must be so
proud, that before her stood her mark on the world, a new world,
and her long nights of toil, when she worked through grit and bone
were never in vain.

And now it seems so clear what she was fighting for all along,
was for him, for me, for my family, for her family.

I love working in the bar, i really do. Surrounded by individuals with
strong personalities, each superstars in their own right. The flairing,
the customer interaction, drinking on the job and not to mention the
amount of flirting that goes with. But working these last 2 days at
powerhouse has made me realize that i really can't keep up with
working nightlife anymore. I'm dead tired, I've got cuts and bruises
all over my hands, I slept at 8AM after spending my whole night on
my feet running around for 10 hour work shifts and I burnt my entire
weekend. It just sounds plain crazy as to why ANYONE would do this.

ON the upside... The customers at Powerstation really seem to like me.
I got a lady's number on the first day at work, tonnes of customers who
gave me drinks and impressed the manager of Mos with my service.
Looks like i still got it.. ;)

I can't help it, I'm just a sucker for a girl with a great smile.
One who isn't afraid to let loose and be free, stylish and live
in the moment. Yet come home and bask in the moment of
quiet togetherness. Huddle under a blanket watching a DVD,
spontaneous lunches and picnics at the park. Walking along
the sidewalk just because we can. It has to be that easy,
that comfortable, it has to be, perfect.

Something doesn't feel right.. giving tuition, joining the pageant,
drowning under my work. It all feels somewhat surreal, unplanned
even. Normally i like to fly by the seat of my pants now and again but
seems to me like a lot of change, a lot of new. I need to wrap my head
around it and get busy, there are different methods to the madness
after all. Should i just smile and take it in stride, or coldly calculate
the safest way to survive the temporary lapse of judgment?

Acceptance must surely be the first step to improvement. If so,
let the journey to wellness begin.