As ..

Venting my loneliness on my dearest guitar..
playing chords that don't even match the song..
Trying to ignore the tugging in my chest..
and focusing on keeping it together..

Still can't grasp as to why..
And my only concern is this..

I truely pray you didn't leave because you felt you had nothing to offer..
because there is no bigger lie than that.. and if so..
let me reassure you.. you couldn't be more wrong..
= ) no need for selfless sacrifices..

i think and hope i was a good boyfriend..
i did my best.. if i hurt you.. it wasn't my intention..

i know ur hurting.. sacrifices you've made..
with nothing but good intentions..
my heart will always support and guide you..
to grow and learn.. for strength and support..

as for myself.. well i'm hurting too..
but i respect your decisions..

Its almost 6am in the Morning..
and as usual i've drank a little..
so if my typing isn't coherant forgive me..
i've been meaning to type this post for quite a long time now..
It's titled..

Women.. Once burned forever shy..

i've discovered a trend amongst my female friends
that affects them in their relationships today..
it seems that many of these girls..
were so badly hurt or betrayed in their first relationship..
in some way or another dealt injustice..
be it being cheated on.. breaking up.. or taken advantage of..
and because of that..
thay vowed never to fall in love so whole-heartedly again..
that it was better to be loved than to give it..
Even in their current relationships.. they feel safety in being loved..
and are scared of giving too much..

i feel that because of that hurt..
men are always going to be looked at as..
untrust worthy or scum..
but that is more a stereotype than anything else..
Guys don't say it..
but Being proud of your boyfriend.. and showing affection is
something we really appreciate..
maybe it's time to let go of that hurt..
and be open To give and recieve love..

Reflections in the Water..

To Live.. to Learn.. and to Love..
Life can be condensed as such..
Today i looked at myself..
I don't like what i see..

Scared of the future and the uncertianty it holds..
and my place in it..


Blood and Water


Nice guys finish last.. its times like this i couldn't agree more..
there is nothing to be gained from being the good guy..
fun will always go to those who couldn't give a flying Fu**..
those who can't be bothered about repurcussions on others..
i wonder if doing the right thing all the time is even
appreciated in this day and age..
being responsible.. putting others before self..
making sacrifices.. self worth..
At the end of the day.. Do they mean anything..?
Personally i get so irritated with people who rush into the
MRT the moment the doors open.. without letting people
inside out first.. they are totally oblivious to the painted
yellow dirctions on the floor..
Sometimes I feel like i give and the world just takes..
Selflessness is gone.. and this world sickens me..


Closing..

Forgive me.. i'm usually not so emo..
but well its just one of those days i feel i must vent..
and where better than here.. in my own little private canvas..
i'm just abit worn down by the world i guess..

A light of the world..

Noticed i've been posting quite often recently..
Its good i finally got my tongue back.. I'll have my SAY..
Didn't get ANY work done today even though i knew i should have..
but for the first time in ages i finally feel fully unwound..
Watched Tv for about an hour after reaching home at 6.30pm..
Checked my e-mails.. More tv and then a Chicken Rice Dinner..

And for some strange reason i felt compelled to rock out..
Dusted her off and did simple scaling.. re-introducing my fingers to the fretboard..
and messing with my effects pedal.. really got into the melodies and free-playing..
And i remembered! the albums i wanted finished downloading..!
So.. 'A Beautiful Lie' by 30 seconds to Mars
and 'Take to the skies' by Enter Shikari..
after a good listen i actually sat down and
like made up lyrics and chords to a song..
well half a song.. but it came so easily..

Music beats my heart.. and elates my soul..
A light of the world..

A Beautiful Lie..

Today's post revolves around 'self'..
About not projecting in the eyes of others..
Looking and accepting the person in the mirror..
And in all realizing truth..

The last couple of days haven't been good to me..
Things happening at home and at work that
well have really just worn me out..
i'm not going to go into details..
but In reflection i see this..

People.. guys and girls.. all live by their own mantra..
It could be being a perfectionist.. overly lazy..
being truthful, or scum, looking pretty or having to stand out..
We all have it and hold it close to us..
Is it right to blame someone for who they are..?
Whatever life experiences that caused what is..
they had no control over.. The non-enlightened so to speak..

I have been getting irritated at people at work and at home..
for things they did being who they were..
and its been weighing me down.. and causing grief..
So i give up all those feelings.. and move on.. = )

Such is life that everyone has such different moral stands
on right and wrong.. truth and fallacy..
and though you might not agree with
what someone else does or believes in..
if they can look at themselves in the mirror with integrity..
All the critism in the world doesn't matter..

Can you look at yourself in the mirror..
be whole hearted and contented..
that you stand for what you stand for..?

= )