Saturday, May 01, 2004

Head in the Clouds

Lemmie see.. How am i gonna go about this.. right..
sorry.. u gotta gimmie a second.. to think about what to write..
its weird.. whenever i book out mentally i just kinda take a break..
THUS the title.. its so surreal.. its like.. my brain is all foggy..
much like waking up after having Wayyy... too much to drink..
my brain laggs about 2 seconds now.. *grin*

right.. lets see.. wow.. as usual.. the week at camp was pretty
stressful... training was tough.. can't expect any less from my platoon..
watched a flick last night.. jersey girl.. Its... okay.. haha.. not too bad..
yar anyway hung arnd town and met up with ken tris and sam...
so this is the USUAL stuff...

then i went home.. put on my headphones.. lay down..
and put on my cds one by one..
getting "HIgh" on Slashes Guitar solos in their "greatest hits cd"
and kinda reaching a Dark state listening to the Dreamtheatre cd..
letting my brain drone on i felt so..... relaxed...
dozed off to the sounds of iron maiden pounding in my ear..
that aside..

Woke up today asking myself so many questions...
sometimes i realli hate myself for doing that..
i think too much.. but not in a smart kinda way...
questions like...

"I wonder if i've ever been a good boyfriend..."
"i wonder if i'm gonna get to ocs..."
"has the army changed me that much..."

there are others but i can't remember.. mostly relationship stuff..
and at the rate my brain's been working it'll take me forever..
haha..anyway i'm pretty confused.. tired.. all that...
its crazy... its like... 4.30.. its the most energetic time of the day..
i'm just planning on buying some snacks.. going home..
turning on the tele and chilling.. how sad is that... haha

right.. got field camp for the next 7 days..
SO not looking forward 2 it.. but i think i'll be fine..

so let me end with something from Guns' N Roses today..
From their "use your Illusion album"

Guns' N Roses, Don't Cry
"Talk to me softly
There is something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin is changin' inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight"

Oh Right.. took a weird personality quiz.. check it out

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she
loves you.
3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.
4. You don't like it when your partner is insecure.
5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one which make you feel warmth and in-love always.
6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.
7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married,
you'll treasure it and your partner very much.
8. At this moment, you don't have the thirst for love, you can't do
anything for it, you won't fall for it easily.

Think its pretty accurate.. haha well SOME parts
c u pple in a week or so..

Sunday, April 25, 2004


Birthdays... *Smile*..
friends.. laughs.. food.. good fun..
let me start of by thanking the guys..
tris.. sam and ken... for throwing me a pretty fun bash..

its weird.. i'm not like.. realli happy and all that..
but its just that feeling that.. yah
i feel appreciated.. and they went through this for me..

got to catch up with my pals..
ken.L, guao, tris, ken & sam..
got to drink a lil... shoot hoops.. skate...
hang out with the girls at chancery..
and i even escaped for some alone time..
just laid on the ground looked at the sky..
needed 2 get away from it all...
absolutly fantastic.. had a nice chat too..

sat down.. was thinking about...
army stuff.. my friends.. and my relationships...
its weird.. i'm so.. well.. zoned out about it now..
i feel like i'm just hanging around..
like a picture on the wall.. there but unnoticed..
i know it sounds realli well.. metaphorical..
but thats the best i could come up with..
an i DO feel that way..
maybe i let myself think about it too much..
for now i'll be a picture.. a nice one.. *grin*

thinking about... bookin in tmr...
have a crazy week coming up...
ippt on monday.. 4Km route march on tues..
soc on wed and thurs...*sigh*
i sure hope i can take it...
can't help but give all i got..

The hour grows late..
and i'm getting Weary..
( love it when i talk like this haha)
i need to rest up..
Pleasent dreams all..

*i wish u'd understand, i'm not sure how i feel right now.. i hate hurting pple i know.. i.. i wish i was the one..."