Monday, June 08, 2009

My posts come few and far between these days only
because of the usual school and work.

Ken and I were at the Ngee Ann track for a run after school
and on the track were this dad and his 2 sons running laps.
Dad was teaching his sons about how to run and making them
do timed circuits. I thought of dad, and how he loved to run.
I stopped and superimposed a memory created in my head of
"If that were me and ken with dad".
I smiled and the scene continued to unfurl in my recesses.
How great it would be and how happy we would a feel to share a
moment, us, just the guys. As the mental thread wore on, my
smile grew heavy into a sense of guilt and longing, bringing me
back to that oh so familiar feeling that comes around every once
in a while but never, ever really leaves. The one that really boils
down to this.

" Time is a commodity no one has enough of. Live and love those
around you with an unbridled passion. For it is when our times
are over, that the memories are worth more than this world
can offer."

The feeling of guilt and longing still stop by whenever I catch a
glimpse of what could or might have been. But i don't really mind.
They remind me of his life, and that i need to live mine.