Saturday, May 22, 2004


Ugh~! Who'd thought it make me feel so uneasy.. haha
Need to get it out of my CHEAST~! *AHEM*...
oh the humiliation.. hahaha..
but i'll admit.. it was a real kick..
thanks for the present 3na..
u didn't have to.. and lemmie STRESS.. DIDN'T..
hahax... anyway i booked out of camp at 10am~!
and i booked in last night at 9.45pm..
basically i booked in to sleep.. sigh..
the army is pretty unreasonable..
heard all my buddies had a super slack day..
realli envious.. while i was bored and sick alone at home..

2 more weeks and one stage of my army life will be over...
seems pretty fast now that i look back..
then again it always does.. jc.. secondary.. holidays..
when you turn your head.. time seems shorter..
8 weeks of torture.. mental beatings.. physical tests..
suddenly don't seem so tough... but it WAS~!
life just does that to you..
everything thats over LOOKS easy..
But finishing all of this..
only to move on to the next level...
sigh.. will it never end..
damn i'm tired of the system...
there's gotta be a beter way....

"If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away"
Yellowcard. Ocean Avenue

Thursday, May 20, 2004

That was Sick..~

okay.. so the title's not about sumthin wicked cool..
i Am actualli sick.. which i find pretty freaky..
had sit test for the last 3 days..
had high fever since the first night..
Head was hot... cold chills.. all that..
but didn't wanna sound off... its not a "macho" thing..
its just tt i didn't wanna fall out..
unfortunatly i got more pride than brains.. so it seems..
got scolded by the doctor and my mom when i got back..
sheesh.. but they are right.. could seriously hurt my body..
so took my temp this morning and it was a whopping 38.6 degrees..
never had such a high fever before.. and went to the medical officer..
didn't want to but he sent my ass home on the afternoon boat..
feel like crap that i have to miss all the training..
i feel so tainetd.. guilty.. i WANNA do GAC.. SOC.. IPPt..
man.. never thought i'd hear myself say that..
right.. so got 7 different kinds of medication..

right.. so lemmie explain.. haven't posted in like.. 2 Weeks..?
reason.. no time.. com's down at home.. feelin realli disconnected..
had field cap.. sit test.. granade assault course and live range..
the last 2 weeks.. pretty tiring..

Been on a emotional roller coaster recently..
the kind where.. its fun.. and then you.. feel sick..
and barf.. and hen its fun again... and then u wanna barf again..
fun barf .. fun barf.. and well~.. no further explaination needed *grin*
u get the idea.. not very GuD... haha
fact of the matter is that i'm pretty much just groping in the dark..
damn i suck at this.. i'm like fuckin confused..
don't realli know what to do about it.. sheesh
I wish i was one of those cassanovas..
they always seem to know whats going on..
AND they always get the hot girls.. *grin*
anyway.. medicine is making me realli drowsy.. thus this crappy post..
to anyone who reads my rambling.. take care..
i'm gonna go home and pass out on my bed..
gonna leave you with some meaningful lyrics..
Or well.. just a nice song.. u decide..
So as usual.. here they are

"Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside"

Switchfoot. Meant to live