GET OVER IT

Was talking to Jeannie about her ex and how breaking up has been hard on him.. and i realised when we are in similar positions we all need something to get over it..

Some people get angry with their partner and use that as a platform to detach themselves. Some use distractions like work or studying or someone else to move on from the old relationship. Longing is the most painful and most of us are guilty of having longed for someone or a past relationship.. This post is not meant to be a forceful answer to anything... but just a realization that we all need a little distraction here and there.. = )

i love distractions..

I can imagine how all the blogs, e-mails and smses are littered with merry christmas messages.. now don't get me wrong, i'm no scrouge and i don't hate christmas. But for me personally, no holiday is complete without spending time with the family. It need not even be a special planned outing. Us lazing around the house watching the idle drabble they play on channel 5 on boxing day is good enough for me. But mom is in perth and Jie is overseas with he boyfriend and its just me and ken. Eh.. no biggie things are a little different but i'll live.
I had been meaning to update my blog since i got back from bangkok almost a week ago, but damn i was lazy. And its been an interesting week lemmie tell you that..

So lets start with a summary of bangkok.. Firstly, i haven't been there in a LONG time. The trip was pretty awesome. me and ken bought lots of booze and spent our nights sitting and sipping at our hotel balcony. Shopping was not bad, more girls stuff around though. The food was just awesome and chilling by the beach.. Heaven.. and me and ken mangaed to hit some clubs the day before coming back.. I LOVE BANGKOK clubs. Honestly 5 times better than ANYTHING you'll have in Singapore. No cover, Music is awesome, Drinks are cheap and Girls are Seriously smokin..! Gotta head back for the clubbing man..

So got back home and had Grandma's baptism on sunday. Man was it weird, the service was completly in cantonese! i managed to translate little snippets in my head, but on a whole i was like a lost sheep in a cantonese sermon. But it made my grandma happy and thats the bottom line right..?

So i Spent my X'mas eve cooking dinner and chilling at my usual wateringhole. Made Steak sarnies which were out of this world.Nice tender slives of steak in toasted gravy soaked cibatta bread with a mixed salad. Ken, Tris and I had a table at Acid bar tucked comfortably in the dark corner. And we met Susan and James and AL there, which was great. A 'little' vodka later, and some brandy, and a couple of beers, i go to check up on Vanessa, which was cool. Poor dear had a little too much to drink too quickly. And i made it back home at around 4.30 to have prata with tris at the shop nearby, before FINALLy crashing to sleep at 6 in the morning..

Wicked huh.. haha.. well..Thats the way it is and now, i am heading to bed..!

A week after exams and i've been out partying and drinking since..
4 days in a row now.. whoo boy.. gotta detox and recover..

well i got my haircut and passport done..
and i'll be flying off to bangkok come friday..
so fun fun fun..

also looking to change my blog skin..
hmm.. think i'll get on that tomorrow..
i'm sleepy..
and promised so many people about meeting up..
Roar.. gonna curl up in bed..

Emo Daes...

I don't think anyone follows my blog these days..
but for the record.. occasionally i have my 'Emo daes' posts..
this would be my second or third.. i'm lazy to count..
I guess its just one of those days eh..?
'the cure' and 'radiohead' on my playlist..
perfect for stoning out and emoing..

I generally dislike the feelings associated with 'Emo'..
worry, sadness, insignificance, isolation, uncertianty..
but we all have our moments..

Its almost 4 in the morning and i'm planning on staying up till 6..
its times like these when you face the fears that rattle the cages..
Emoing is that private state where.. it all runs free.
leaving the very vunerable beings that we are, at the center of it all.

question..? are the people who DON'T have these days..?
or are we just a special breed (so to speak)
How strong they must be.. fearless and free..
How i wish i didn't have these episodes..
I'm not manic depressent am i..?

"great now i'm talking to a voice in my head and posting it on my blog, which can exactly reflect a perfectly sound state of mind. Not one of my wisest moments."

Like i said, Emo daes, only those of us unfortunate enough to have it
will understand what a bitch it is..

Back to the books..

Had one of those 'its a Tiny world we live in' moments today.. Stopped by my mom and sisters office on the way home and I found out John Molina's niece goes to my sisters speech therapy center..! and met May (Johns sister) too.. talk about coincidence ya..?

well research papers handed in, projects done and presentations.. err.. presented.. with 2 weeks before exams its time to buckle down and bury myself in the books.. *sigh* i am dreading the exams.. i mean.. didn't we JUST have midterms..?! damn condensed US system is keeping me on a pretty tight leash..

Can't wait to get out of the country.. hopefully i'll leave for the USA after next sem to finish up my final year. its still a tentative but that will be one hell of an experience.. even if it is a university city..

Acid Bar is having its anniversary this saturday and tris will be back! How awesome is that.. me, tris and ken already have a table booked and all the bands will be down to play 70's, 80's and current music.. Sounds like a good time anda good chance for me to kick back before cramming my brains out.

I used to ponder about life alot, but recently the chances to, have come considerably less than they used to. Had a moment on the ride to school today, and it came to me.

"its all in the cards"
There are things in life that are beyond us.
call it fate, godly divination, you could worship the all mighty cookie
and it would all be the same. Basically life is, what life is.
Some things are meant to be and others not,
i.e. the cards of life are dealt to us, Whats in the cards and when
additional cards are given is beyond our control.

I have come to realise several things.
Firstly, that the cards are pre-determined and being anxious
or disappointed in the cards really doesn't accomplish anything.

which leads me to my second point.
given how moping or whining about the situation doesn't
get us anywhere, that just leaves us with playing the game.

No point stressing out about stuff sometimes..
we really gotta learn to let go and move on..

Hmm.. i feel better..

I find that in love, i always tend to give too much.
Its an all or nothing thing with me.
I put my entire heart and being into the vision..
the vision of living happily together, sharing special moments,
romance and the future of infinate possibilities.
I guess i'm a romantic that way..

As an outsider, i'm always able to give insight and advice.
But when i get involved in actual relationships,
i lose my bearing of logical sense, and become as lost
as everyother soul.

Its a sad and rather concerning discovery to be honest..
I think i still love falling into the passion of the moment..
an optimistic illusion of romance and adventure.
is a necesary change required..? to be more grounded..?
its hard to say really..

I love this song by saosin..
finding serenity in the progressive chords and yearning vocals.

"You're not alone, there is more to this i know.
you can make it out, you will live to tell."

Omg..
seriously the weeks are counting down faster than i can manage..
and the amount of daily content they are jamming into my head
paired with the amount of a) assignments b) projects and c) revision
i have to get done.. i am really kicking to stay above water here...

anyway.. here's a joke... it made me smile..
so i thought i'd share it with you guys...
okay so..

2 fish are in a tank....
one turns to the other and says:
"You man the guns, i'll drive."

haha.. damn... even when i'm typing it its funny..
i don't care if you didn't laugh, you have no soul..

well.. i can't wait for year end.. i really need that break..
and might go clubbing this sat since its halloween and all..
MAYBE...

I'm gonna make this clear...
i have never and will never like Zouk...
after Plush me and ken made our way down to Zouk
to join victor sally and Samuel..

Phuture was so packed.. my god.. there wasn't space to dance!
Seriously whats the point in cramming in and suffocating..
if you are lucky there will be 4 inches between youand the next guy..
and So many young guys and girls.. *shakes head*

And then after ken got wasted.. the rest wanted to go..... Mambo!
**Shudder**.. the night just gets worse and worse for me..
Here's the thing.. TONNES of pple love mambo...
and i respect their right to... by ALL means..
but for me.. memorizing the dance moves to a song..
and imitating the guy on stage trying to look like a 80's Diva...
isn't dancing.. Gross...
i'd rather have my limbs gnawed off by rats before i mambo...

Yes.. zouk badd.... Badddd.... lesson learnt..

2 Invisible

Intro: Dm7 Dm E A

Dm7 Dm
Wish i mattered to you... ( repeat )
E A# A
Don't you see that i want you to..
Dm7 Dm
i think i stay but i won't.. (repeat)
E A
chances are that i'll fade away..

G C
and i turn, turn to run,
E
but i can't get away from it all..
G A
Just like light, from the sun,
Dm7 Dm E A#
i'm invisible...
A
I'm invisible...

*intro*

. Dm7 Dm
Disobedient heart.. (repeat)
E A# A
Full of longing just tear apart..
Dm7 Dm
I'm done feeling this way..
E A
no more strength for a brand new day..

G C
Stand up tall, walk away..
E
Precious moments and memories dismay..
G A
And i'll walk out that door..
Dm7 Dm E A#
be invisible..
A
Invisible.


Another attempt to songwrite on my guitar...
2 verses, 2 choruses and a one bar intro..
it misses a another verse.. a bridge and an ending..

i think this one as a song has feeling
but both the lyrics and the melody can be fine tuned..
oh fyi they chords are power chords..

Well the song speaks its own message..
and everyone can relate i hope..
Tag the board if you have any feedback or ideas k..?

Nostalgia...


A year and a month on... i finally leave PPC...
Ken is alseep after we drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels
and a Guiness Draught each..

I'm glad i finally made the move to leave..
I'm not discounting any of the positive experiences i had..

Drinking on the job..
Learning how to PR with customers..
Picking up the basics and aquiring my own style of bartending.
Making friends...

In the course of working, i learnt how to put myself out there..
define myself by my knowledge of alcohol and signiture drinks..
by my wit, personality and friendliness..
I've learnt alot of what it takes to make a business work..
what must be done and attitudes towards staff..
This information and experience is invaluable..

The last is probably the most profound...
I've met so many great friends at ppc..
as customers and collegues..

Customers:
Cristina, Susan, Johnny, James, and John..
Mas, Sal, Isabella, Spike, Sarah, Alvin, Charles, Rifai and IRma,,

Collegues:
Rida, Kamsul, Siva, Ryan, Ramlan, Faizal
fareed, azmi and sophie.. = )

The toughest part of leaving is never having
the same experiences with them...

I'm Am a Bartender..
its one of those thing i was made to do.. and do well..
Mix drinks with Stlye.. Make customers laugh...
shoot the shit and entertain those sitting by the bar..
Being spontanious and Wild is in my character..

I think its better i move to a place that allows me to learn new things..
Holistically i need to know all i can know.. And i guess that is somewhere else..

Emo as it is, this post was meant to be of rejoice..
i'll miss all of PPC.. the good as wll as the many bads...
It was where i first started out..

My heart will ALWAYS be a part of PPC..
And with that i bid my farewell...

rest easy acid bar and rouge club..
I am sure decent bartenders will come..

I'm feeling much better, and not so pissed with the world..
haha.. currents flow in the oceans of the earth..
and things have a natural way of finding the right order..
And we take it as it comes..


Black Balloon

babys black balloon makes her fly,
i almost fell into that hole in your life.
you're not worried about tomorrow..
Cuz you were the same as me but on your knees..

Things to get done...

Essay for world civilisations..
Research paper and
oral presentation for english..
psych project..
Econs Project..

That and mid-terms looming a week away..
I think the phrase that best describes everything is..
Ohhh.. fuck..

After looking through my notes..
Playing guitar and a Warm shower..

Theres nothing like a nice relaxing evening
to put things in perspective..

Currents of the world take us away..
Faces and places old and new..
To experience magic and excitement..

We ride the wave and take in the sights..
and leave everything to time..

And we smile.. With no cares on our backs..
and only the future we love.. we smile..

Without you i have no reason to stay..

The song on my blog is by H.I.M..
its one of those bands i liked from way back..
and my first taste of love metal..

alot has been going through my head..
Its easy to be discombulated by love and emotions..
and in the eye of your mind
emotions and questions spiral around like a typhoon..
and there you are.. in the middle..

i've decided.. i need to detach myself from it all..
i can't be in a relationship given all thats happened..
emotionally i am worn and
don't have the strength..

And what is the point of it all..?
Love should be so much easier than this..
Without you i'll have no reason to stay..

New sem.. new Ballgame..

Its been awhile since i last posted...
:) nothing much to post actually..
i usually blog when i feel blue or down..
So things must be going pretty well..

Time flies.. So fast and i'm into my second sem..
Modules this sem are definatly more challenging..
Calculus.. World civilisations.. Macroeconomics.. Psy 101..
Must make constant effort not to keep on track..
and not let everything pile up..

i like it when life is like this...
simple.. and everything is well.. clear... well..
i'm gonna shower up and leave for my only class of the day..
*smiles* ONLY class of the day...
Cheers to excellent school PLanning~

Ciao..

Love is...

I'm up and at the com though its 5am in the morning..
somewhere between watching my cooking shows, reading my book
and making myself tomyam instant noodles..
i felt the incessant call to blog.. and i wouldn't be here
unless bloggng at this hour unless this would inevitability
lead me to some kinda of epiphany..

I was at the balcony.. looking up at the clear starlit night sky..
and i could just imagine myself utterly in love..
the visual in my head played as such..

we share a home.. and its been a long day..
and you lay your head on my lap..
tired but still laughing and joking..
and your dazed eyes still sparkle as you smile and look into mine..
and i stroke your hair as we share the day..
and i wonder how a guy like me ever got so lucky..
and at that moment..
i wouldn't want to be anyone else anywhere else in the world..

It is so simple huh..? 2 people sharing an odinary moment..
How smiles and joy and love.. can be had everyday..
i can see it.. the visual is so clear i almost fall into it..

I wonder.. am i the eternal optimist.. looking, living for that day..?
Is it practical..? will that even happen..? is it even possible..?
Or am i plain naive..? merely chasing a pipe dream..?
Don't know what it is about me.. i am a romantic..
Chasing hot girls and getting some just doesn't appeal to me..
i'm only 22.. is it too young to have these thoughts..?
so so SO many questions..

Well i definatly don't have the answers..
and i don't know where to start looking.. : )
But as usual.. i have a feeling things will turn out well..

A wonderful nights sleep and dreams to all..
Drew..

Blink...

Its really been a chilled out 2 weeks for this Emo rocker bartender..
Passing my days with the simple joys of life..

1) Playing my dearest Guitar
2) Morning Coffee and reading the newspaper
3) Sprawling out on the couch watching Tv
4) Spending time having our oh so rare Family dinners
5) Working at my favourate place doing my favourate thing..*

*No its not drinking.... ... ... ..

Well the holidays are winding to an end and i must say
i'm eager to hit the books again.. wanna get my degree
quickly and Hit the Business world Baby..! I was talking
to mom and she was really keen for us to work and get a PR
in the states.. Honestly it sounds great career wise and an
adventure in itself..

But you gotta love it here.. I mean..
its Clean.. Warm.. Good makan.. Good Partying...
Safe.. Convienent.. Excellent education system..
And as i see it the whole country will be Prime
Real estate in 20years..
This is by NO means my own personal Rally..
and its not Army Brainwashing or anything.. haha
but I think its those ideals that will carry us through
if war were really declared..
that there is really there's no place like home..
Hmm..
Its days like these i'm proud to put on my Number 4 and berret..

Moving on.. Went to skate today at the skatepark and orchard stage..
Managed a couple of kickflips and flatland stuff.. :)
Sketchy but still pulled it off nontheless..
Highlights are Ollies off the stage and frontside 50-50s! Haha..
those felt awesome.. and its been a good 2years since i last skated..
Drenched in sweat and the light drizzle..
being back on a board brought back many many good memories..

Got my Results back recently..! 3.715 for my GPA..
Its not the perfect 4.0 i was aiming for but..
Its a respectable grade.. but no worries..
i'll do better next sem.. :)

Anyway..
Its such a nice sunny day..
Think i'll watch some family guy at home..
Head to town and have a coffee..
read the papers.. play some pool.. and people watch..
Sounds like a truly relaxing way to spend the day..

Anyway i miss tris.. its boring not having you around..
can't go out on our random nights.. do random stuff..
haha.. Listening to Circa survive now...

Much love.. peace..

Woke up from a wicked nightmare..
dreamt i only got 55% for my econs final..
and 60% for my math final.. i was super freaking out..
Well.. gonna grab some lunch and head to work after this..

In life we must take the good with the bad..
Just as there can't be highs without lows..
I always believe the toughest things in life
are also usually the most rewarding..
So we gotta keep pressing on..

Live our lives with no regrets.. and integrity.. and love..
We give it our all till we lay down our arms to rest..
Thats the way it should be.. Much love!

Thanks Tris for the awesome posters!

Dark Wings

The cold was embracing..
The rain, raw and unbecoming..
The morning sky painted stunning lilac and blue..
And me standing alone in the middle of it..
The cool rain drops pounding as i look into the sky..
My hands reach up.. trying to grasp.. something anything..
Soaked to the bone i felt my spirit lift..
Chilling dew runs down my neck..
i feel my back tear.. and my wings branch out..
The cry echos the streets..
The silence shatters in the instance..
slowly the rain washes the blood off my body...
Kneeling on the gravel.. Black wings wrap me tight..
I didn't want to leave.. the rain was me.
So cold.. dense.. tired and gloomy.. So dark and lost..
the gale of winds blow right through me..
Perfect the night that i became..

Stumbled across this whilst looking thorough my old now ancient blog posts..
this one i wrote on March 09 2004.. Wow.. looking back it sure brings back memories..

We close this chapter with friendship..

i write the final words to end this page.. and i reflect back..
how we weaved up and down.. with smiles and sorrow..
i never forget.. How we laughed and cried.. and ran in the rain..
trials and tribulations crossed.. be proud we hung tight..

i'd hate to think that i could be the one for you..
relationships are supposed to be happy..
half the time we were happy and the other sad..
you deserve to be happy.. we both do..
i know you will find someone..
who will truly be everything you could ever want..

friendship stands in the wake..
i stand here always offering friendship..
the 3 years were definatly not a waste..

Recovery..

Its been 4 days since i finished my exams..
And i've been working on all 4 days since then..
So i'm still trying to make up for days of loss sleep..
Well.. happy to say i think i'll do pretty good.. = )

i'm missing Sophie and Tris..
Things just feel incomplete without both of you..
Ironic how 2 people i love are so far away..
*sigh*

Anyway enough with the Moping..
i'm gonna grab carls jr lunch with the little bro..
Ahh.. tris carls jr used to be our thing man..

Much Love..

Marley And Me..

So this book has been my companion over the last 3 weeks..
on the busrides to and from school..
and quiet moments before classes..
i chuckled as i gingerly read page after page..
always careful to keep the book in its prestine condition..
Taken on a journey with the writer on his highs and lows..
scenes from the book playing a visual image in my head..

So i'm reaching the end of the book..
and one paragraph in particular..
This one paragraph reaches out and grabbes me..
The writer is at ground zero for 9-11 the night after..
And 2 emotions stand out amongst the turmoil..

Pride.. and Humility..

Pride in the everyday people that stepped up in crisis..
selfless individuals willing to risk life and limb..
To help a stranger..
Humility in appreciation of life..
and regonizing the fraility that all of us
no matter how big or small.. can be broken..

The boundless capacity of the human ceases to amaze..
Good night everyone..

'Finding someone and knowing they are all you wanted..
makes love easy.. '

I actually heard that on a sitcom i was watching..
haha.. but it really made sense to me..
Thats all men really want.. well.. all i want..
a happy easy going fun relationship..

I want to post on something different today..
but i have to get Back to typing my english essay.. = )
*sigh*
Night everyone..

Another tough day's work in acid bar..
on one of the longest days of my life..

As you can probably tell from my past posts..
its been an emo week..
and now i am just tired..

like a soldier falls of fatigue after battle..
i too am on my knees..
eyes shut tight to rest my eyes and possibly my mind..
and i muster a last resignated sigh..
and wonder where we go from here..

Sometimes i step back..
and i catch myself thinking and worrying..
getting insecure and restless..
about things that really shouldn't bother me at all..
and it sucks.. emotionally i let these things eat at me..
leaving me with little if not nothing at the end of the day..

i have a tonne to get done this week..
i need to remember to smile..= D
and not let things eat away at me..

But first.. instant noodles and a short nap..!
i need my strength!

Its been awhile since i leaned over the balcony..
Whisky on the rocks on the side..
Gazing outward into the midnight sky..
The clouds add comforting whisps of shade..

The night air is cool and refreshing as i take it all in..
instantly my shoulders feel lighter
and the world stands peaceful..
And i begin to reflect..

Looking out, I think about the past and look towards the future..
and i realise this..

Life is really all about accepting the past and letting it go..
Sometimes we grip tight to the happy and sad memories..
And it runs around our heads and grips around our hearts..
It keeps us sacred and confused.. and we never move on..
But we feel safe.. always knowing what was..

This illusion of safety masks our eyes..
And comfort and stegnancy reside,
Where new hope and opportunity should be..

Honor and forgive the good and the bad.. breathe out..
and let it go.. immediatly you'll feel an empty space open up..
It feels so awkward to have nothing.. a blank canvas..
and you start making your way.. a new way..
One that will ultimatly lead to bigger and better things..

Its been awhile since i made such a post...
it feels good.. There is no love where fear resides..

Andrew

Dear dad.. i miss you so.. thanks for this gift..
you didn't have to die for us to be happy.. it wasn't worth it..
this post is for you..
thanks for being such a driving force in my life..
even after ur gone..

Your Son..

My hands glide across the book..
fingertips graze past the cover..
And I think of how you must have felt..
And strength that pulled you through..
and it will, time and time again..

we are both strong.. in mind and will..
and all we need is to trust..
in love and in time..

Expression..

I'm not the churchy type but thank god for expression..
I feel blessed to be able to play and sing music.. And Dance..
I'd be less of a person if i couldn't express myself this way..
i lose myself in music and movement..

Be it the songs i sing Or the energy from the dance..
my emotions always come out front..
No guards no facades.. just me..

We are all shun the light of day.. and fear judgement..
But to lose it all.. and let it fall away..
We become free.. and spread our wings..
now that is what living must be about..

Andrew

Emo daes..

My Dearest tris is at the Airport.. *sigh*..
Its not going to be the same without him around..
called to say goodbye just now..
i'm bestest bro leaving on a jetplane..
Haha.. well i know he'll do just fine..

Spent part of the afternoon Dancing.. Haha..
it's been so long since i've had to chorieo,.
But it was really fun..! Guys hip hop man!

Well.. all that aside..
Really need to buckle down on school work..
Priorities man.. stay focused andrew..
Don't let complacency get the better of you..

Much love Tris.. The boys will be holding down the fort..
WE ain't going anywhere..

Its been so long since i felt this way..
like i don't deserve the likes of this world..
powerless to the circumstances of man..

i hate to be emo.. Ask my friends
Last time i felt so dark and gloomy was Jc..
i was one dark broody metal loving kid..
writing all my gothy poems and stuff..

The world embraces us with a vice like grip..
So tight we lose our breath, as the world fades black..
and the last screams we force go unheard..
silent prayers for deliverance..

Truth..

There is a law that seperates opposites..
confusion and clairity, light from the dark,

And right now.. i'm confused...
con-fu-sion: hazy,lazy mostly hazy..

Is confusion an excuse not to deal with my issues..?
could be.. so much going on.. and i keep putting it aside..
i figure I must not get carried away..
focus on the simple things in life..
friends, work and school..


Emo is the enemy~! *grin*
i should take a trip, unwind and go to my happy place..!

Oh and here are the pic of me and the guys on ken's 21st..
God i love the boys.. Enjoy

Buried in the yard..

Placed it in a shoebox, covered the lid..
Memories and life lessons amongst the bits and pieces..

and as we walk to the garden..
we honor and treasue the times.. The moments we shared..
however long or short..

Digging the hole we reflect on the hard times..
The strength we gained and heart we had
to fight to the end..

Covering the pit we vow to remember..
the lessons and good times..
the smiles and the sorrows..

Find Your Strength..

Precariously teetering on a fence.. Blue night skies in my gaze..
Feeling both scared and perplexed at the same time..
How it was or should be all seem but a hazy dream..
So much i have to say, so many questions i don't know the answers to..
having protected you for so long.. and living in our relationship..
i feel that we've cut ourselves from the world..
You said once..i've learned all i can from this relationship..
it got me thinking.. what if relationships weren't about learning..
companionship.. support.. trust.. freedom of expression..


You have no idea of the strength you have inside,
i know and believe of all you are and all that you are capable of..
Find yourself and dig deep.. When things look shakey stand strong..
the toughest journeys are always the most rewarding..
Respect yourself.. don't let anyone tell you what to be or what you can't do..
Love yourself.. you deserve all the love this world has to offer..
As your friend i care so much.. though my actions may have depicted otheriwse.

I believe anything in this world is possible god willing..
with strength and perserverance..

Always in my thoughts..
Andrew

*Yawn*

Hopping between revising for my Econs paper and work is a pain.. Don't get me wrong , i Love my job to death.. but Its time like these, where i have to spend my one and only restday cramming.. Ugh.. and it can all be summed up in a *sigh*..

i needed to take my head away from the stimuli of work and tv.. thought i'd rant and air my thoughts.. maybe go into something profound by mistake.. = )

So ken's birthday is tonight.. and he's decided he wants to sing on stage.. apparently its one of his lifelong dream is to sing on stage.. and i'll be on guitar and backup vocals.. haha.. acid bar is in for a treat tonight.. cuz we've been practicing~! sounds pretty decent.. = )

Pooped..

Man.. what a trying week..
with mid-terms and quizzes one after the other..
brings back memories of how tiring exam period used to be..
the cramming.. and practice.. anxiety with a dash of anxiousness..

i've got my english paper tomorrow.. and haven't started revision yet..
haha.. just like Jc days.. looks like some things don't change..
Can't wait for the weekend to get some well deserved rest..




Well enough about me.. on to today's post..


Today's post... mmMmm..
Lets do one on perserverance..
Ever hear the story of the little train that could..?
well.. he was huffing and puffing along a steep track..
and well.. it wasen't easy for the little guy..
now the passengers were all acting up..
some were encouraging.. and some were well.. annoyed..
but the little train pressed on a chug at a time..
ignoring the comments
and taking solice in transporting his passengers..
Up and down hills.. in and around mountians..
till he finally reached the station..

Everyone knows what it's like...
a long ardurous journey to reach that goal..
sometimes it sucks.. and other times.. it doesn't suck..= )
a chug at a time.. one step at a time..
and we'll get there.. i believe hard work pays off..
as hypocritical as that may sound coming from me..
maybe it's the army that ingrained it in my spirit..
to give it once more when you feel you've nothing left to give..
another step.. another try.. one last run..
cuz.. you have to..

As ..

Venting my loneliness on my dearest guitar..
playing chords that don't even match the song..
Trying to ignore the tugging in my chest..
and focusing on keeping it together..

Still can't grasp as to why..
And my only concern is this..

I truely pray you didn't leave because you felt you had nothing to offer..
because there is no bigger lie than that.. and if so..
let me reassure you.. you couldn't be more wrong..
= ) no need for selfless sacrifices..

i think and hope i was a good boyfriend..
i did my best.. if i hurt you.. it wasn't my intention..

i know ur hurting.. sacrifices you've made..
with nothing but good intentions..
my heart will always support and guide you..
to grow and learn.. for strength and support..

as for myself.. well i'm hurting too..
but i respect your decisions..

Its almost 6am in the Morning..
and as usual i've drank a little..
so if my typing isn't coherant forgive me..
i've been meaning to type this post for quite a long time now..
It's titled..

Women.. Once burned forever shy..

i've discovered a trend amongst my female friends
that affects them in their relationships today..
it seems that many of these girls..
were so badly hurt or betrayed in their first relationship..
in some way or another dealt injustice..
be it being cheated on.. breaking up.. or taken advantage of..
and because of that..
thay vowed never to fall in love so whole-heartedly again..
that it was better to be loved than to give it..
Even in their current relationships.. they feel safety in being loved..
and are scared of giving too much..

i feel that because of that hurt..
men are always going to be looked at as..
untrust worthy or scum..
but that is more a stereotype than anything else..
Guys don't say it..
but Being proud of your boyfriend.. and showing affection is
something we really appreciate..
maybe it's time to let go of that hurt..
and be open To give and recieve love..

Reflections in the Water..

To Live.. to Learn.. and to Love..
Life can be condensed as such..
Today i looked at myself..
I don't like what i see..

Scared of the future and the uncertianty it holds..
and my place in it..


Blood and Water


Nice guys finish last.. its times like this i couldn't agree more..
there is nothing to be gained from being the good guy..
fun will always go to those who couldn't give a flying Fu**..
those who can't be bothered about repurcussions on others..
i wonder if doing the right thing all the time is even
appreciated in this day and age..
being responsible.. putting others before self..
making sacrifices.. self worth..
At the end of the day.. Do they mean anything..?
Personally i get so irritated with people who rush into the
MRT the moment the doors open.. without letting people
inside out first.. they are totally oblivious to the painted
yellow dirctions on the floor..
Sometimes I feel like i give and the world just takes..
Selflessness is gone.. and this world sickens me..


Closing..

Forgive me.. i'm usually not so emo..
but well its just one of those days i feel i must vent..
and where better than here.. in my own little private canvas..
i'm just abit worn down by the world i guess..

A light of the world..

Noticed i've been posting quite often recently..
Its good i finally got my tongue back.. I'll have my SAY..
Didn't get ANY work done today even though i knew i should have..
but for the first time in ages i finally feel fully unwound..
Watched Tv for about an hour after reaching home at 6.30pm..
Checked my e-mails.. More tv and then a Chicken Rice Dinner..

And for some strange reason i felt compelled to rock out..
Dusted her off and did simple scaling.. re-introducing my fingers to the fretboard..
and messing with my effects pedal.. really got into the melodies and free-playing..
And i remembered! the albums i wanted finished downloading..!
So.. 'A Beautiful Lie' by 30 seconds to Mars
and 'Take to the skies' by Enter Shikari..
after a good listen i actually sat down and
like made up lyrics and chords to a song..
well half a song.. but it came so easily..

Music beats my heart.. and elates my soul..
A light of the world..

A Beautiful Lie..

Today's post revolves around 'self'..
About not projecting in the eyes of others..
Looking and accepting the person in the mirror..
And in all realizing truth..

The last couple of days haven't been good to me..
Things happening at home and at work that
well have really just worn me out..
i'm not going to go into details..
but In reflection i see this..

People.. guys and girls.. all live by their own mantra..
It could be being a perfectionist.. overly lazy..
being truthful, or scum, looking pretty or having to stand out..
We all have it and hold it close to us..
Is it right to blame someone for who they are..?
Whatever life experiences that caused what is..
they had no control over.. The non-enlightened so to speak..

I have been getting irritated at people at work and at home..
for things they did being who they were..
and its been weighing me down.. and causing grief..
So i give up all those feelings.. and move on.. = )

Such is life that everyone has such different moral stands
on right and wrong.. truth and fallacy..
and though you might not agree with
what someone else does or believes in..
if they can look at themselves in the mirror with integrity..
All the critism in the world doesn't matter..

Can you look at yourself in the mirror..
be whole hearted and contented..
that you stand for what you stand for..?

= )

Nothing more to give..

You know those days when you are emotionally and physically
just exhausted.. when all that matters is to get the job done
and head home to a comfy bed..? i was having one of those..

Lack of sleep and work at 6pm.. Trina is on holiday in South Africa..
Come back in 1 Piece..! and stay away from the ferocious hippos..
and ken finally got into the bar..! cuz of my cunning persuasion to the
manager no doubt..

Poor boy cut his hand washing glasses yesterday.. It was seriously
one of the worst hand cuts i've seen in awhile.. a big gash in his index..
and cuts on his third and fourth.. now he's off to the doctors..
i'm pretty sure he'll steralise and stich up the wound..
Sigh.. it sucks..

during work i couldn't keep my eyes open..
luckily i could still focus when cleaning and plastering
ken's cuts.. thank god.. Haha..

Yup.. What a hell of a day..

Guess Who's Back...!

Nothing like a STRONG hinting from my girlfriend
to get my ass moving.. Love You Dear~!
and the Almighty Birthday Is upon us..
To be prefectly frank.. i really don't keep track of my birthday..

it comes like it does every year..
un-assumingly creeping up on me..
well.. another night out with the boys is in order..
and i just wanna have a relaxing night..
and not embarass myself.. ugh..

work has been keeping me terribly tired..
and fell sick recently so that didn't help..
and guess what.. school starts on may the 3!!
so i'm totally psyched about that..

i'm going to head to bed and rest up before tonight..
lotsa love pple

Happy St Patricks people..!

Even if it was yesterday..
bring out the Guiness and the shamrock clovers..!
I have a picture of myself in a Gigantic
Guniess hat with clover leaves for the rim..
BUT.. thats just for me.. and maybe tris.. and trina..
well.. then again I MIGHT post it up..

I had a pretty good day..
Went to watch 300 with baby..
shared a Hearty fish soup..
picked up my 3 tiny martini glasses
and shaker glass for the home bar..
ate ice cream.. had a salad..
came home and napped..
AND out for dinner with mommy..
prawn noodles.. wanton mee..
har gao.. prok rib and chee cheong fun..
oh.. and tea si ping to top it off..

kinda heading to bed
but got my nose buried
in the new bartending book ken bought..

All in all a Perfect day..

Haven't posted in awhile..
Lets see if i still remember how to go about this..
= ).. wow..

its amazing how i turn to my guitar and blog for solice..
to be quite frank.. i'm feelin bummed out..
my mom is also doing her degree now..
and she's on the com working on her 2000 word assignment..
even though she's sick..
she's been taking power naps and even fell asleep by the com..
told her to get some rest but assignment is due tomorrow..
all i could do was encourage her.. and she appreciated it..
but its times like this i feel helpless..

Strangly trina is going through a similar predicament..
assignment due and a test to study for on top of that..
she's really tired.. i can hear it in her voice..
i'd give anything or do anything to help..
and again.. i feel terrible that i can't do shit to help..

i'm worried that tiredness will hurt these 2 people i love..
physically wearing on their minds and bodies..

will to press on.. a page at a time a word at a time..
absolutly astounding..

hold on tight..

I have to tell myself not to break down..
it isn't right.. i have to be strong through it all..
i have to.. the consequence i know all too well..

i think.. i've done all i can.. but breakdowns are breakdowns..
its done.. and she's lost 'herself' in me..
i thought it was about rebirth.. a new person..
but i lost sight of the obvious.. she wants herself.. not a new self..

it isn't fair.. but nothing in life is..
she is right.. worlds apart..
old school and new school..
tugging in different directions..
learning comes from a non judgemental place..
traditionalism against libralism..
It was too hard to give up ideas where you stood..

i look back.. and see a mountain range..
many we've crossed.. dangerous and painful..
trudgging against the snow.. we fought cliff after cliff..
you've had enough.. and i'm ready to keep you warm..
with my own body..

eyes roll up.. the fight is lost against the cold..
and i died inside.. frozen tears from how i couldn't make a difference

THis Post is meant for myself and no one else..
Purely just to air my thoughts of no rhyme or direction..
That Jesus himself was a man with a vision..
one that stood for openess forgivness and love..
to never impose an idea..
but yet be heard across a world through such a magnitute of time and spaces..
that leaves me speechless..

He himself brought revolutionry concepts to man..
As one himself.. that altered the behaviour and action of billions..
that it is now physically impossible not to have ever been affected..

Never judge a man till you've walked a mile in his shoes..
That statement always seemed to put things in perspective..
but here's my spin on it..
this concept seems to pull to the physicality of things..

Here's my own take..
walking a day in his life might physically give you an insight to
what he is subjected to and obstacles in his life.. BUT
Its not so much a day in his or her life that would change your world..
Seeing the world through his eyes.. and the thought processes in his head..
the perceptions he has.. limitations and fears.. his whole life..
as he would see it..and coming back to yours..
now that's what alters a life..

a day in the mind of.. not the life of..

Cr-Ump-ler B-A-G





Hey guys..!


I Have Original Crumpler bags

Going @ 15% off store price..

Gonna upload the Photos here so u can check em out..















tag or sms Moi if ur interested k..

Prices are..

Complete Seed--------- $152

Barney Russel Blanket--$135

The Outlet Prices are $179 And $159 respectivly..
so the savings work out to be about $30-$25 bucks.. = )
I have them in green red yellow grey and blue..


Love Andrew
XOXOXOXOXO

Forgotten How to love..

Remember a time in this world thats so blind..
a momentus second thats so truly divine..
You gave your heart so scared you'd might die..
to another in hopes that she just might smile..

So lonley these nights as i lie in my bed..
thoughts of existance run through my head
like a bullet train with no destination..
not far or near in sight of the staion..

and again if i die the world'd stay the same..
no major changes for better day..
and we still live for ourselves so petty and small..
so terribly insignificant we are all in all..

The games in our head we become so scared..
to live and to love we're all so impaired..
to see..

A World OUr own..

Lets go.. you and me.. we'll find a spot..
in the lush fields the world will never find us..
Everything is perfect.. just the two of us..

The flowers grow in the pale moonlight
glistening in the dew of crystalline jewels..
cradled in your arms the world slips away..

Dream and reality collide..
A symphony and perfect harmony..
Love at last..