I CAN't SmilE...

I said it.. I've tried.. seriously..! i mean not that i'm sad or anything ...
you know those people who just smile and look absolutly gorgeous..
i can't smile and look ERm... Nice.. Yah.. i can't do the whole..
"show your Pearlie Whites" thing.. Hmmm.. HOw distressful..
I'm like a (MONA ANDREW).. you know.. the type thats..
lip smiling.. or frowning.. um.. yeah.. ambiguity..

Smiles... they are probably overrated~ anyway~ *tantrum*
i'm like a clown.. sad on the inside but with a big painted SMILE..
ugh.. just the thought IRKS me.. Or didn't you know..
i have clown phobia..

ah well.. i'm okay without the smiles.. it is strange though..
Hmmm.. alright then, what a strange post..

Good Night~

mMmmmm..

Just got back from a job interview... and its looking good..
$65 x 6 days a week.. its alright.. anyway oprah is on Tv..
Theme.. "he's just not that INTO you"..
Its like a realtionship Guide..
the things men do with Courtship.. and its really HITS me..
its really strange.. some of the things i do..
this guy on the show with oprah is really selling me out..
Haha.. everything i do and the reason.. consious OR sub consious..

Men love it when women live a fun competitive life..
it enhances OUR live..
men DON't always feel the need to be together..
Time we spend is Always special..
MOST men will do anything to avoid confrontation.. ie. make you happy..
but we shouldn't be.. its what a relationship is about..
men love it when women Are confident with their bodies and themselves..
we are trying to be too..
don't be afraid to come up to us with anything..
we wanna know about you..

damn.. its like the stuff on oprah always makes me feel like scum..
hahaha.. anyway i'm setting up some new priorities..

1) exercise more.. i've been meaning to do more running and
my regular workouts.. friends have said i've lost weight.. i do
feel weaker than i used to be.. i need to eat better and more
regularly.. Play yoga music.." My body is my temple...!" Ohm...
i had a dream where i had a tummy.. and i freaked out..! ugh..
its the right thing to do..

2) I'm gonna be more of a go getter.. its time to grasp what
i want.. i'll make the things i want happen to me.. FOR me..
hey why the hell NoT..

3)Less Drinking.. when i see beers or shots.. i just let go..
its one of those things i just don't restraint.. well.. no more..
i need to.. its GOTTA be killing my liver..

4) i'll put off my driving.. for now.. just cuz i don't wanna focus on it..
and i don't need it.. i'll do GREAT in uni.. be more goal orientated..
work harder.. take things more seriously

well.. now that i know what i want..
i must make it happen.. nice long journey ahead..