Out of pandora's box
escapes sorrow and dispair..


before hope...
where's the hope......


sigh..
i turn my head for a moment..
and it all stacks up..
far be it from me to air dirty laundry..
but i've either had it.. or i'm just tired..

Reality checks are hard aren't they..?
for a brief moment glimpsing a look at urself..
just the way it is.. unshaven.. unclean...
no where to hide left or right..


mmmMmm... looks like i've done it again..
i try to be the teddy bear in all of this but..
like everyone i lose it sometimes..
not that its a bad thing.. i say what i have to say..
and if it stings.. it's probably the truth..
save the look at yourself before looking at others
for another time.. cuz i'm just airing thoughts..
i'm such a prick...

1)
I will not stand by and watch this anymore..
i nag if i care which u apparently don't
and if u don't care about yourself our the implications on others..
don't expect me to clean up afterwards..
cuz i WILL bail.. and i won't be left picking the pieces..
slice ur wrists on ur own time.. not mine..

2)
u... grow up... harsh..? but true..
ur not a small boy anymore.. so stop acting like one..
ugh.. sometimes i feel like my heads gonna friggin pop~!
life's not a gonna be an easy ride all ur damn life..
and honestly i'm getting weary of the antics..

3)
Don't know why it yanks at my nerves..
how can you be so young..? Ugh..
so overly obsessed with the wrong things..
i want to i want to.. everyone else iS!~~!
i Must have it.. so naive...
there's a reson for rules..
the time WILL come.. why bother...

4)
i need to get myself moving..
using army as an excuse to take a thinking vacation..
Things i HAVE to get done and haven't touched..
things i should have more initiative on and not doing..
just fucking shit tired...

Never Again..

Sometimes i expect a reply.. A reply from the dead..
i've waited too long..
waiting.. still waiting.. maybe.. maybe someday soon..
Its light Dim.. and extinguised in a gust..
A squirming flame now no more..

and once again.. it sears at my flesh..
and scratches at my sinew.. but its okay..

Unto me any bodily harm there of
and the river of blood overflow..
let the devil himself within awaken..
awaken...

And Once again.. Never again.. i let you die..
Fallen to the ground and body runs cold..
A stigma engraved in my consiousness..
Why did you leave me..
A stranger so close.. and a stranger in me..

Eye of the tiger baby~!

Mmmm... Rarrrh..~! i'm feelin good.. strangely..
feel like kicking ASS.. hahaha.. i'm pumped~!
Mothers hide ur daughters..~!

i guess its cuz pple i know are feeling down this week..
Exams.. army exercises.. breakups..
whatever.. gonna keep my chin up..
u know that saying... a wise man told me once...

he says to me;
" chosen one.. *chough cough*..
when the going get tough..










Kick ASS~!
*cough Cough*"

ps.. eat carls JR...



AND So you see..
maybe my alcohol poisoning has CLEARED my vision..
ah yes.. that and a dash of kung pow..


Ooh.. i saw COLIN at orchard~!
zack zack~! climb climb climb~!
dig deep for that inner monkey..
feel the flow..~~

Black Sheep...

Chosen to be part of this Core..
i can't help but always wonder if..
it was some kind of mistake..
for me to represent men of such value..

Out of place.. the life is not for me..
an officer is far from what i seem myself to be..
They carry themselves with such an air of absolutness..
confused, i fear i let down the core..
such a proud few..

now i'm SURE it was a mistake..
time will groom a leader..
surely not.. i'm of neither.. finding it so hard..
struggling to find my niche..

Sick.. it makes me..

Another weekend.. back from my SUNNY Island..
Life there is Really killing me..
Got sick this weekend.. WAS sick during the week..
headaches and fever plaguing me through the days..
Mild Bronchitis.. ugh.. medicine keeps me drowsy..
Dr Chia hasn't seen me in 5 years and he says i'm the same..
but this aside.. i just can't help but feel something's amiss..

out of alignment.. then again.. can't help but feel its just me..
has life gotten less exciting..?
Must be that i'm more work and less play these days
hardly skate.. or climb.. or club..
life has gotten abit dull hasn't it..

And i miss the old days.. just skating after school...
Or even ocs days.. when we all were trainees..
things were new and fresh..
Now it seems.. life revolves around work..
and not just 2 dimensional revolves...
i'm talking 360 Deg.. ALL round kinda revolves..

Leaves me.. well tired.. mmm yes..
time for medicine.. sleep...
i miss you all... sweet dreams..