TRYING

Could you let down your hair
be transparent for awhile
just a little while
to see if your human after all

honesty is a hard attribute to find
when we all want to seem like
we've got it all figured out
well let me be the first to say that
I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
ain't gonna pretend like I do

I'm just trying
to find my way
trying
to find my way the best that I know how

so here we go.. quick update..
chop chop cherrio and all that..

zack's in taiwan..
tris is in Bintan..
ken's at camp..
trina and belle are actually STUDING for exams..
i've invested in a lil business..
I'm Moving House Soon
i'm posted to viper coy..
AND i'm on Ground Force Air Controller( G F A C ) course for 4 more weeks..

oh.. and i just remembered.. i'm Turning twenty..
grin.. isn't life a biach.. sigh..
Love ya all.. *Hugx* and stuff..

Realised that i haven't blogged in ages..
been what... 3 weeks now..? Yup..
commissioning is over.. and joe's STILL a cadet..
hmm.. Think of the POSSIBILITIES.. GrinX..
well.. went zouk last night.. didn't drink much though..
strange.. haha.. it was fun though..! Feelin pretty mellow..
so here's a mellow song i like..
its by lifehouse.. mmmmmMmm..
brings me back to secondary school..

BREATHING
I'm finding my way back to sanity again
though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there
and take a breath and hold on tight
spin around one more time
and gracefully fall back to the arms of grace
cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't want to speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside Heaven's doorand listen to you breathing
is where I wanna be yeah

I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth and I'm
trying to identify the voices in my head
God which one's yours
let me feel one more time what it
feels like to feel alive and
break these calluses off of me
one more time
cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside your door
and listen to your breathing
is where I wanna be yeah
where I wanna be

I don't want a thing from you
bet you're tired of me
waiting for the scraps to fall off of your table to the ground
cause I just want to be here now
cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more thanto sit outside Heaven's door
and listen to your breathing
is where I wanna be yeah

cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more thanto sit outside Heaven's door
and listen to you breathing
is where I wanna be yeah
where I wanna be
where I wanna be

Finish Line..

I'm in camp now, doing CDS duty today..
all becuz of an extra i didn't deserve to get..
And i did try to explain the situation..
wasn't gonna take the rap for no reason..
but REGARDLESS.. i'm still here..
and i've come to learn that..
there are some things in life that you should just do..
(terms and conditions apply)

Anyway.. 2 more weeks to commisioning..
For all The crap i've been through and AM going through RIGHT now..
that its okay.. i'll just take it.. some things aren't with fighting for..
souds to mellow for me huh..?? Grin..
And u must be asking.. "WHATS WITH THE PINK~~"
... ... ... it goes will with my background okay..

platoon assault course and Panther are over..
Just 2 more weeks of parade rehersals...
sigh.. realised i really need a break from the army..
Did you hear..? my lil bro got into ocs too..!
he'll be here as a cadet while i'm commisioning..
How COOL is that..! anyway.. i'm So proud of my little bro..
No one more deserving than him.. He'll make a fine officer..
an officer with a mean HARDflip and fakie frontside flip~?
Scary shit.. haha

just wanna play guitar and skate like the old days..
als those days have passed.. it like growing up..
now i have commitments... to me.. my friends.. my family..
now i that i work 4 the SAf.. its like i'm sliding into my
roles as a leader.. a grown up.. sigh..
not too sure if thats a good thing..

Anyway Sorry for Missing YOur Birthday DEAR..!
make it up to ya.. ; ) promise~..

S_aint

Slit my writsts.. thats how i learn..
Charred to the bone.. my Body Burns..
covered in crimson.. constantly yearn..
Body bleeds black.. awaits my return..

Open arms await.. a glint in his smile...
Beckens to me.. to stay for awhile..
We share a drink.. Spirit or wine..
how long has it been..? doing just fine..?
our shadows and identity aline..
We are One again.. just like old times..

But i can't..