Black Sheep...

Chosen to be part of this Core..
i can't help but always wonder if..
it was some kind of mistake..
for me to represent men of such value..

Out of place.. the life is not for me..
an officer is far from what i seem myself to be..
They carry themselves with such an air of absolutness..
confused, i fear i let down the core..
such a proud few..

now i'm SURE it was a mistake..
time will groom a leader..
surely not.. i'm of neither.. finding it so hard..
struggling to find my niche..

Sick.. it makes me..

Another weekend.. back from my SUNNY Island..
Life there is Really killing me..
Got sick this weekend.. WAS sick during the week..
headaches and fever plaguing me through the days..
Mild Bronchitis.. ugh.. medicine keeps me drowsy..
Dr Chia hasn't seen me in 5 years and he says i'm the same..
but this aside.. i just can't help but feel something's amiss..

out of alignment.. then again.. can't help but feel its just me..
has life gotten less exciting..?
Must be that i'm more work and less play these days
hardly skate.. or climb.. or club..
life has gotten abit dull hasn't it..

And i miss the old days.. just skating after school...
Or even ocs days.. when we all were trainees..
things were new and fresh..
Now it seems.. life revolves around work..
and not just 2 dimensional revolves...
i'm talking 360 Deg.. ALL round kinda revolves..

Leaves me.. well tired.. mmm yes..
time for medicine.. sleep...
i miss you all... sweet dreams..

"BEST OF You"

I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use

I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse


..Foo Fighters





"Breathing"

Eyes are feeling heavy but they never seem to close
The fan blades on the ceiling spin but the air is never cold
And even though you are next to me I still feel so alone
I just can't give you anything for you to call your own

And I can feel you breathing
And it's keeping me awake
Can you feel it beating? My heart's sinking like a weight

Something I've been keeping locked away behind my lips
I can feel it breaking free with each and every kiss
I couldn't bear to hurt you but it's all so different now
Things that I was sure of, they have filled me up with doubt

And I can feel you breathing
And it's keeping me awake
Can you feel it beating?My heart's sinking like a weight

Yellowcard..



scary thought nudged its way into my head last night..
a choice.. and one i was actually willing to consider..
decisions.. one i'd never thought i would even consider..
need to look into making a choice..
it maybe one of the hardest i'll ever have to make..

'Wake Me Up When September Ends'

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends



Sometimes i wish i had half your wisdom..
How cool and composed you always looked..
never flinching an eyebrow.. 7 years..
Its not the same without you here...
miss you dad..

Helpless....

I'm so silent.. can't help but smile..
Beats bounce off the walls..
dust falls from the ceiling..
shaking the room to its foundation..
Desperate.. i shout.. praying for someone to hear me..

and silence again...
why bother.. smile..
give up..? give up...