Tired...
 
 
Should have would have could have..

All the voices screaming at me...  just want to be free..
Take me back to where i came from.. lost and scared..
Look all we done crumbling upon us..
Test my arms.. kick like crazy..
i've been trying way too long..
Only push away to find you..
and i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm not yours.
Get off my chest.. the story ends
Close ur mind shelter the pieces..
i'm the one u want to lose..
No other path for us to choose.. 
 
Why am i only.. Falling softly..
Reach for a hand.. pull to the end..
Awake and see.. inside of me..
Wings Spread wide.. Fly to the sky..
 
Soaring so fast.. Spin through the sky..
Want to escape.. Is it too late..
Can u feel the clouds surround you..
Phoenix ignites and burns us through..
 

Love Is...

Hi.. its me.. andrew..Owner of this here blog..
remember..? its been 2.. 3 weeks..?
know i haven't posted in the longest time..
Do people still come here..?
Got company confinement next week and
thought i'd jot down some thoughts..

Lemmie just start..
Love Is.. for those of you who DO know..
i'm not talking about the nike AIR JORDAN ads..
as much as i love em.. so here we go..

Its totally weird..
if you believe in love at first sight.. ur naive..
and a love that lasts a lifetime..? ur unrealistic..
so Where exactly are we..? Love is..? love is...
Well i don't know.. but if i were to guess..?
it be in the present.. but thats just me..
and well its got me nowhere..

Anyone caught that french film "love me if you dare"?
just watched it at home.. and something hit close to home.
There comes a point where love stops being a game..
Wish i had known earlier.. anyone who knows me knows i love games..
and for most of my life its been nothing MORE than a game..
Well.. Until now.. Who knew that it hurt so much..?
think that i torture myself over this all the time..
When the games stopped.. and i seriously looked at it again..
this path just took on a long and bumpy ride..
On many occasions it worries me that i put so much heart into it..
knowing that if it doesn't work out its gonna hurt like hell..
Its crossed my mind to just leave.. no traces.. or goodbyes..
just like before.. cuz its scary..
but no.. in the greater scheme of things..
it pays to follow dreams.. well at least i believe so..

Has anyone read "The Alchemist"?
i had time this week in camp and finished the book..
it talks about love , life and being..
its pretty insightful to say the least..
so here i'll end off.. got alot running through my head..
sorry if the post sounds choppy..
see you people in 2 weeks..

"The Worst feeling in the world is to be surrounded by people and still feel totally alone."

Empty

Took out the lyrics from the last post..
don't know what came over me..
can't believe i wrote that..
it just looked bad when i read it again..

Feeling.. well.. adrift.. a lil bit tense..
army getting to me.. mood swings.. lots of stuff..
*grin* i'm just irritable today la..

Gonna get out of the house..
probably grab a beer or 2...
or 3... Maybe 4..
well u get my drift..
Gonna sit back and listen 2 some THRICE..
Good god.. fantastic band.. Story of the year too..
Incubus.. Hoobastank.. Think i'll just..
erm.."SWITCH OFF".. i need a break..

Later pple.. i'm outta here..
Sweet Dreams..

"Thrice.Ultra Blue"

Unabashedly pursue,
the Truth that we cannot deny
A revelation shining through,
orchestration Adonai
A revolution ultra-blue,
and a melodic battle cry
And though you say there'll be no coup,

we'll never know unless we
Try to see it through,
and find a different point of view,
one where faith is not taboo
And we'll all learn to see the world as new

Had a Good day...
Got tonnes to do.. army stuff mainly..
now i think about it..~ i didn't have dinner ..?
well snacking on oreos and milk..
The disgusting green shrek ones.. Haha..

My sec com has given me alot of posts in foxtrot..
pretty stressed out.. Book in book out i\c..
Safty Rover i\c.. Law Gunner... Sheesh..
But.. i dunno.. now.. i'm looking up..
Sispec will be tough.. BUT i'll NOT fall out..
"My body says ENOUGH.. But my spirit says NO.."

i think this is the only army moto i truly believe in..
Speaks volumes about determination and true will..

Right.. this is WAyyyy to leadership campy for my blog.. haha..
anyway.. good night people.. stay happy..

Sunday. 20th June

Whoa 2 more hours to book in timing..!
Still got lots to do..! damn..
went to town 2 get my photos done and
buy stationary from popular this morning..
Damn i look bad with short hair.. hahax..
rushed to SPONGE to get ken's b-dae gift..
and had lunch at pasta mania.. DrooL~..
still gotta finish off the cover for the book in book..
make sure i got all my items..
Pack my clothes.. and grab dinner..
Ooh.. this is a realli tight weekend..
But i loved it.. haha.. = P
Sigh back to camp for another hectic week..
ippt.. soc.. signal tests.. practical and theory..
demoliton tests and theory.. GosH..~
Gotta take it one day at a time..

Cya in a week people...
well.. HOPEFULLY..

Dark Cloud

'Switchfoot.Meant to Live'

'Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside~'

I am sad.. don't usually say it but there..
I got a confession.. i'm pretty freaked out..
about everything basically.. Sispec..
sigh.. i don't know what to think..
heard the training is tough..
and the sergeants are realli unreasonable..
i feel like i'm starting back from square one..
and its not a good feeling.. all that training for nothing..
I don't know what to expect..
Argh i'm feelin like shit..
its the day before booking in..
and well.. i'll just come out and say it..
i'm scared.. about army..

About life..
i know i look like i got my life plan all worked out..
but to be honest.. seeing all my frenx getting uni letters..
it just scares me that i well PROBABLY can't get into local uni..
I feel prety fucked.. wondering how everything is gonna work out..
woke up this morning and just lay there..
looking at the ceiling..
scared shitless of the future...
my mind running in circles..
not making things any better..

Relationship wise..
i just keep hanging on to the ledge with the tips of my fingers..
many times i wonder if its worth it.. all i put myself through..
and maybe it be easier to just let go.. and fall.. fall..
but i just keep telling myself that its worth it..
because..well i know it is.. i've put in so much and waited so long..
i can't.. let myself crumble now..
It hurts.. but thats just how much i'm willing to put in..
But Its more scary now with so much on my mind..
i'm so scared that one day i WILL give up..
i don't want to.. Argh..

Wih so much on my mind.. how can you blame me for being sad..?
What thoughts to have before entering sispec..
this isn't the good start i expected..
damn.. i.. i just don't know..
... .. .