Head in the Clouds

Lemmie see.. How am i gonna go about this.. right..
sorry.. u gotta gimmie a second.. to think about what to write..
its weird.. whenever i book out mentally i just kinda take a break..
THUS the title.. its so surreal.. its like.. my brain is all foggy..
much like waking up after having Wayyy... too much to drink..
my brain laggs about 2 seconds now.. *grin*

right.. lets see.. wow.. as usual.. the week at camp was pretty
stressful... training was tough.. can't expect any less from my platoon..
watched a flick last night.. jersey girl.. Its... okay.. haha.. not too bad..
yar anyway hung arnd town and met up with ken tris and sam...
so this is the USUAL stuff...

then i went home.. put on my headphones.. lay down..
and put on my cds one by one..
getting "HIgh" on Slashes Guitar solos in their "greatest hits cd"
and kinda reaching a Dark state listening to the Dreamtheatre cd..
letting my brain drone on i felt so..... relaxed...
dozed off to the sounds of iron maiden pounding in my ear..
that aside..

Woke up today asking myself so many questions...
sometimes i realli hate myself for doing that..
i think too much.. but not in a smart kinda way...
questions like...

"I wonder if i've ever been a good boyfriend..."
or
"i wonder if i'm gonna get to ocs..."
and
"has the army changed me that much..."

there are others but i can't remember.. mostly relationship stuff..
and at the rate my brain's been working it'll take me forever..
haha..anyway i'm pretty confused.. tired.. all that...
its crazy... its like... 4.30.. its the most energetic time of the day..
i'm just planning on buying some snacks.. going home..
turning on the tele and chilling.. how sad is that... haha

right.. got field camp for the next 7 days..
SO not looking forward 2 it.. but i think i'll be fine..

so let me end with something from Guns' N Roses today..
From their "use your Illusion album"

Guns' N Roses, Don't Cry
"Talk to me softly
There is something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin is changin' inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight"

Oh Right.. took a weird personality quiz.. check it out

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free.
2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she
loves you.
3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.
4. You don't like it when your partner is insecure.
5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one which make you feel warmth and in-love always.
6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.
7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married,
you'll treasure it and your partner very much.
8. At this moment, you don't have the thirst for love, you can't do
anything for it, you won't fall for it easily.

Think its pretty accurate.. haha well SOME parts
c u pple in a week or so..

Birthday...

Birthdays... *Smile*..
friends.. laughs.. food.. good fun..
let me start of by thanking the guys..
tris.. sam and ken... for throwing me a pretty fun bash..

its weird.. i'm not like.. realli happy and all that..
but its just that feeling that.. yah
i feel appreciated.. and they went through this for me..

got to catch up with my pals..
ken.L, guao, tris, ken & sam..
got to drink a lil... shoot hoops.. skate...
hang out with the girls at chancery..
and i even escaped for some alone time..
just laid on the ground looked at the sky..
needed 2 get away from it all...
absolutly fantastic.. had a nice chat too..

sat down.. was thinking about...
army stuff.. my friends.. and my relationships...
its weird.. i'm so.. well.. zoned out about it now..
i feel like i'm just hanging around..
like a picture on the wall.. there but unnoticed..
i know it sounds realli well.. metaphorical..
but thats the best i could come up with..
an i DO feel that way..
maybe i let myself think about it too much..
for now i'll be a picture.. a nice one.. *grin*

thinking about... bookin in tmr...
have a crazy week coming up...
ippt on monday.. 4Km route march on tues..
soc on wed and thurs...*sigh*
i sure hope i can take it...
can't help but give all i got..

The hour grows late..
and i'm getting Weary..
( love it when i talk like this haha)
i need to rest up..
Pleasent dreams all..

*i wish u'd understand, i'm not sure how i feel right now.. i hate hurting pple i know.. i.. i wish i was the one..."

StuFF..

Just watched movie trailers at tris's house...~
So many good shows i wanna catch... Hmmmx..

Spiderman 2 definatly.. its gonna RocK~!
Garfield the Movie.. looks Damn cute..*Ahem* i mean... nice
Dodgeball.. its got Ben Stiller.. should be pretty good..
White Chicks... Definatly a must watch.. looks fucking funny..!
Alien Vs Preadator.. trailer wasn't too good.. BUT loved the series.. so.. yah~
The SpongBob MOvie~.. okay.. i like the half hour episodes.. BUt the thing is..
One and a half hours of him.. hmmx.. i don't know if i can stand it.. haha
Shrek 2.. looks pretty funnt too... ahh...
Its looking like a good year for movies.. and me of course.. haha..

Anyway just skated... feels realli good..
was abit ticked.. and it made me skate more agressivly..
about to book into camp... actualli had some time...
drew abit.... i drew a pic of a skater for my lil bro..
he's not been home all weekend.. some leadership course..
i'm no artist.. but i think its not too bad..
hope he likes it la.. anyway.. gotta rush off..
back to the ole grind.. *grin*
see ya'll nex week..
*u make everything all right~~*
haha.. felt like singing..

Change..

Alright.. Just ONE big bottle of beer...
so.. i'm pretty proud of myself for not over drinking..
anyway.. it was good.. inside i felt abit screwed up..
needed to let it out.. so i chilled with the beer..
caught up on the stuff that's been going on..
came back.. eased off the anger... cursed and sweared..
so yah its better this way.. i feel better now..

anyway.. strangly.. i notice a trend with me..
which is that... as i grow up... i really get wiser..
not to boast.. but.. i've learned alot..
right wrong.. patience.. humility..
u may think otherwise by all means..
its just an observation...and well..
as much as i said i woulden't let the army change me..
it has.. as much as i hate to admit it...
i guess... in a way i'm much more firm in getting what i want..
but in a good way.. (if there is such a thing..)

i actually want results now.. espicially as a group..
i expect the same or greater effort put in as i do..
strange... i've been agressive before.. but not as much..
not that i'm aiming to be the best recruit or anything..
not by a long shot...
just that.. i guess.. i just want to push things...

probably shoulden't put this here..
but my lil bro is disappointing me...
i'm on the verge of letting loose on him...
but i need to take it easy..

Relationship problems..
what to do what to do..?
i'm just very tired of it i guess..

besides that i've got to go back and
deal with incompetient bunk mates...
had fun todae.. but i don't know..
guess i'm abit bummed now..
probably just tired.. wanna skate tmr..
going to knock off now..
can barely keep my eyes open..

*sigh* why must life be so stressful..
hopefully tmr is a good day before i book in...
time to catch up on loss sleep..

Train.When i look to the sky
"When it rains it pours and opens doors,
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry.
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love,
That have to say goodbye.

And as I float along this ocean,
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go.

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me,
And you make everything alright.
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me,
And I can always find my way when you are here.

And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day,
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't dance before.
And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss,
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away.

Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead,
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly.
But with you I can spread my wings
to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won't pass me by

And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me
there you are to show me"

I don't know what 2 say..

okay.. the title is just random.. from the top of my head..
haven't blogged in awhile so bear with me...

i don't know what to say..
to do or think and feel..
i can't believe i'm going tru this patch...
espically for you..
i'm not on the same page of out book..
as you think that i should be..
i can't just stand and take all this...
we're different u and me..
i guess i'll stop with this facade...
let my mask slip to the floor..
no longer will i play these games..