Empty

Took out the lyrics from the last post..
don't know what came over me..
can't believe i wrote that..
it just looked bad when i read it again..

Feeling.. well.. adrift.. a lil bit tense..
army getting to me.. mood swings.. lots of stuff..
*grin* i'm just irritable today la..

Gonna get out of the house..
probably grab a beer or 2...
or 3... Maybe 4..
well u get my drift..
Gonna sit back and listen 2 some THRICE..
Good god.. fantastic band.. Story of the year too..
Incubus.. Hoobastank.. Think i'll just..
erm.."SWITCH OFF".. i need a break..

Later pple.. i'm outta here..
Sweet Dreams..

"Thrice.Ultra Blue"

Unabashedly pursue,
the Truth that we cannot deny
A revelation shining through,
orchestration Adonai
A revolution ultra-blue,
and a melodic battle cry
And though you say there'll be no coup,

we'll never know unless we
Try to see it through,
and find a different point of view,
one where faith is not taboo
And we'll all learn to see the world as new

Had a Good day...
Got tonnes to do.. army stuff mainly..
now i think about it..~ i didn't have dinner ..?
well snacking on oreos and milk..
The disgusting green shrek ones.. Haha..

My sec com has given me alot of posts in foxtrot..
pretty stressed out.. Book in book out i\c..
Safty Rover i\c.. Law Gunner... Sheesh..
But.. i dunno.. now.. i'm looking up..
Sispec will be tough.. BUT i'll NOT fall out..
"My body says ENOUGH.. But my spirit says NO.."

i think this is the only army moto i truly believe in..
Speaks volumes about determination and true will..

Right.. this is WAyyyy to leadership campy for my blog.. haha..
anyway.. good night people.. stay happy..

Sunday. 20th June

Whoa 2 more hours to book in timing..!
Still got lots to do..! damn..
went to town 2 get my photos done and
buy stationary from popular this morning..
Damn i look bad with short hair.. hahax..
rushed to SPONGE to get ken's b-dae gift..
and had lunch at pasta mania.. DrooL~..
still gotta finish off the cover for the book in book..
make sure i got all my items..
Pack my clothes.. and grab dinner..
Ooh.. this is a realli tight weekend..
But i loved it.. haha.. = P
Sigh back to camp for another hectic week..
ippt.. soc.. signal tests.. practical and theory..
demoliton tests and theory.. GosH..~
Gotta take it one day at a time..

Cya in a week people...
well.. HOPEFULLY..

Dark Cloud

'Switchfoot.Meant to Live'

'Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside~'

I am sad.. don't usually say it but there..
I got a confession.. i'm pretty freaked out..
about everything basically.. Sispec..
sigh.. i don't know what to think..
heard the training is tough..
and the sergeants are realli unreasonable..
i feel like i'm starting back from square one..
and its not a good feeling.. all that training for nothing..
I don't know what to expect..
Argh i'm feelin like shit..
its the day before booking in..
and well.. i'll just come out and say it..
i'm scared.. about army..

About life..
i know i look like i got my life plan all worked out..
but to be honest.. seeing all my frenx getting uni letters..
it just scares me that i well PROBABLY can't get into local uni..
I feel prety fucked.. wondering how everything is gonna work out..
woke up this morning and just lay there..
looking at the ceiling..
scared shitless of the future...
my mind running in circles..
not making things any better..

Relationship wise..
i just keep hanging on to the ledge with the tips of my fingers..
many times i wonder if its worth it.. all i put myself through..
and maybe it be easier to just let go.. and fall.. fall..
but i just keep telling myself that its worth it..
because..well i know it is.. i've put in so much and waited so long..
i can't.. let myself crumble now..
It hurts.. but thats just how much i'm willing to put in..
But Its more scary now with so much on my mind..
i'm so scared that one day i WILL give up..
i don't want to.. Argh..

Wih so much on my mind.. how can you blame me for being sad..?
What thoughts to have before entering sispec..
this isn't the good start i expected..
damn.. i.. i just don't know..
... .. .

Liquid_Room

Right.. hmmx.. went to liquid room last night..
and me and tris decided to bring our YOUNGER siblings..
BIG mistake..
so it was.. tris.. tasha.. tasha's fren.. me.. my bro and janice..
for me and tris it was more a babysitting trip than anything else..
always chacking up on the younger ones every 10 minutes.. jesus..
to top that ken drank too much and needed to be sent home..
so OUR night was stressful.. taking care of tasha...
and kens bugging me quite abit now.. don't care if he sees this..
Giving me this.. i'm a Big Fuck attitude..
the whole i got a girlfriend and i'll do whatever shit i want kinda thing..
funny that I WAS the one sending his ass home in a cab last night..
anyway that aside.. met alot of platoon mates.. Marist guys...
had fun with them.. so i guess the night was not too bad..

Oh.. got my posting.. looks like i'll be going to sispec..
i feel i deserve ocs but well.. nothing i can do now..
gonna try go transfer to ocs after BSLC(basic section leader course)..
Gonna give it my best shot.. but if i can't i don't mind either..

Abit Confused about relationship stuff..
Keeps my mind wandering..
Right.. song lyrics..

"I'm tired of playing games, of looking for someone else to blame
For all the holes in answers that are clearly showing
For something to fill the space, was all of the time i spent a waste
'cause so many choices point the same way i was going...

But i'm not ever going to know if i'm right or wrong
'cause we're all going in the same direction
And i'm not sure which way to go because all along
We've been going in the same direction"

Hoobastank."Same Direction"

Day by day..

Shattered glass sprays around the room..
A lullaby to this dark and gloom..
Walking away you turn your back..
This winter day your things you pack..
Freeze in Time the night's so clear..
Gravity will pull you near..
Extend your hand i'll hold you close..
Shield you from this world of ghosts..
Is it me you came to see..
We share this world just you and me..


Right... as usual.. that came from a rather dark place.. i'm not upset or anything.. and i don't realli know WHY i post up these random writings Or their meanings.. i guess i gotta let it out somewhere.. where better than here..?

Chinablack was horrible.. i mean it was the usual.. but i dunno.. i just wasn't in a very party happy mood.. there were SO many guys compared to girls.. but i think i had more fun meeting old friends and talking them anything else.. drank quite abit.. but didn't get wasted or high at all.. sheesh.. Its things like these that confirm something is wrong with the universe.. grin..

Anyway will probably hit HMV later.. check out some new music.. skate a lil.. hang out.. do shit.. later people.. By the way.. and i know my mom isn't gonna read this but.. Happy birthday mom..! U know i Love ya..

Oooh..! For anyone interested lakers beat detroit in game 2 of the NBA finals to even the series 1-1..! crux shot kind of game.. kobe sunk a 3 pointer to tie the game and force ot with 2.1 seconds on the clock..! That was just plain sick..! Final score: lakers 99, detroit 91..

"The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I need

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day"

Story Of The Year.Anthem Of Our Dying Day.