Its been awhile since i had an all night game..
mom's asleep on the couch..
remote control in hand..
i hear the cars zooming along the highway
I just checked baby's blog..
and i was so afraid i might see something i wouldn't like..
she's been feeling terrible..
with her exam stress, i totally understand..
and i spent today worring about her..
i couldn't focus at work.. lost my temper at a collegue..
even during my game.. i played decent..
but my heart wasen't there at all..
running all my ideas of what i did wrong..
or how she's feeling race around my mind..
last night she was having a breakdown..
and i brushed it off with a remark.. i thought i was being encouraging..
she was really hurt..
I was too harsh.. and i take responsibility for that..
sometimes i think i've been out of school so long i forgot what its like..
i need to be responsible for others listening..
sigh i keep forgeting..
I'm sorry sweetheart.. it was mean of me..
i know you felt scared that you had a paper
you felt that since you had no control over the outcome..
that your efforts didn't matter.. that you didn't matter..
but you do.. you matter to me and your family and your friends..
You may think you are worthless.. but let me tell you..
we certianly don't..
Hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me..
life can be really complicated..
the more educated we get..
the more we have to make meaning of words..
ideas concepts principals..
I am right.. u are wrong.. this is how it should be.. and what not..
we feel that by having a stand..
we are grounded.. we MEAN something..
Some people spend their whole lives in search of the truth..
the answers to the meaning of life.. the holy grail.. love ..
whatever your muse..
and the answer to the meaning of life..?
cookies and milk... yup..
a mustard seed.. freedom..
the sparkle of a childs eyes..
peace.. its whatever you want it to be..
when you are creation.. truth is what you say it is..
love is what you say it is.. and life is..
what you say it is..
i have work tomorrow at 5..
i'd better get some shut eye..