Todays recap..~

Went to the country club.. N got my haircut..
came back.. din feel like skating.. watched the tube..
then went for a run with tris, sam, mike and tasha..
i realised i'm super out of shape man..
but it was pretty good..
then off 2 kamyung's place to work out @ the gym~!
haven't done that in a long time either.. Felt the BUrn baby~
yah then me, kamyung ,tirs and sam went for a dip in the pool..
haha they bloody swam in their boxers~!
and we played with our inflatable raft.. damn fucking fun~!
came back home tired.. and ate..
then we all met again go to 7-11.. haha..
I'm so tired.. and i need to go shower~..
todae was anything but boring~..
i'm glad..

"When am I gonna learn? Why? Cause I'm tired of hating
When will it be your turn? Why? Cause I'm tired of waiting"
Nickelback.Do this anymore

It's said that you can't hit what you can't see..
so can someone teach me..
how 2 find answers that don't have questions..
How to live a life that has but no purporse..
How some people can be at peace.. whilst i cannot..
i wonder why the puzzle pieces of my life..
just don't seem to fit together...
The face i wear and the smile i carry..
always portray otherwise..
The manic-depressent always creeping under my skin..
Lost... lost and looking..
in serarch of the truth with no origin..
when the alpha and omega collide..
forming an infinity.. Or black hole..


it may not make sense.. it may even freak you out..
but i'm just thinking out loud.. tot i'd jot it down.
i think its pretty complex.. yah anyway..
its just how i'm feelin.. comments..?

today was the usual..
no serious skating..
basically its us just messing around..
tryin stuff.. and i tweaked my ankle a lil..
still hurts tho.. but i'll probably go skate tmr..
haha.. i think i must be stupid..
or seriously not sane...
anyway i feel like writing..
and this is off the top of my head..
so here it goes..

Now i Know

I Feel so fucking stupid..
how could i've been so blind..
The answer was right in front of me..
how in the hell could i not see.

There was no chance that you'd be mine..
i've lost this game even through time.
For u and me just cannot be..
i'll never mean 2 u what u mean 2 me.

and all this pain that i went through..
suddenly seem so small and shrewd..
So i annouce it clear, right here right now..
Alone in the dark, i make this vow..

That i have enough.. i quit , we're through..
no longer is there a me and you..
and i'm glad.. relieved more than you know..
no longer will we put up this Show..

the game has ended.. at least for me..
it pains my heart, but i'm sure to be..
better than i am right now..
Our play has ended.. my fairwell bow

my not be one of my better poems but.. wtf right..
its all gibberish..

Man... i like that poem.. it.. feels nice.. haha
not that i'm projecting that in me now...
but sometimes when my world is collasping..
that kinda sums up how i feel.. ya dig..?

basically skated todae.. wan came over..
filmed some sick skate stuff..
me and ken worked out a.. tough issue..
which was realli good..
we both almost teared man~!
what the fuck man..
thats serious deep shit right there..

Lemmie sum todae up..

Trick highlight : 5'O the box & a sweeet heelflip.. board flipped right under me.. feet caught the deck right over the bolts man..

Aww factor : watching the Orsbornes~! when jack left to london and Lola
(the dog) was like all sad and depressed.. lying on the couch and floor looking all sad & adorable..~~ AWWWW~~.. ( fine~ i'll stop).... AwwwWWww..

Pissin Me Off : My aching right shoulder.. hurts when i lift it and all.. Oh..AND my FuckinG cough..! feel like i'm fuckin choking everytime i cough.. ticking me off man..

Consoling factor: eh.. that HOPEFULLY i'll get better.. if i don't DIe from it first.. *sigh* yah. That the element world tour skate video is done downloading~! YeS~! that... i'll probably go clubbing at the end of the week.. Oh~ & that my favourate lighter is working again..~ Woo..

Hopefully tmr is a better dae.. well hopefully every tmr is a better dae.. but that doesn't happen now does it.. yah whatever~ screw this.. i'm popping pills and off 2 bed..

Let it crumble.. The world on my shoulders..
i cannot hold it anymore.. the weight is too much
I've tried... tried to bare.. only to see nobody that cares..

The edges puncture my skin..
God knows its only paper thin..
Warm and red.. it feels so good..
there's no doubt in my mind cuz i knew that it would..

Won't someone lift my spirit..
this torn and tortured soul..
Is this world so self-absorbed..
that all you see are goals..

my grief means nothing..
and why should it to you..
use me when u need me..
and throw me when ur through..

This moment freezes in time..
fragments of memory scattered all around..
it tears away my Carcass..
And i scream but theres no sound..

My body hits the ground..
as i fall to my knees
broken and bloody..
as i mutter:"please god please.."

And all i wanted was..
for somebody to save me..
and as my vision starts to blur..
i know that can't be..

Andrew. 22\02\04 (1.06am)