Walked home in the whispy rain today..
the wind twirled and twisted drops at wim and fancy..
Like a ballet recital the rain danced and spun..
And the night light illuminated crystalline drops..
What beautiful evening..

And when the dust settles..
lay down your arms..
this war isn't over..
a temporary cease fire..

young men are bleeding..
they feel so alone..
they need a love one..
now far away at home..

and the nights they spend in the harshest world..
seems to mean nothing compared to the longing..
to fight and kill.. survive and be strong..
for love..

fighting for love.. Its crazy..
Almost and oxymoron.. who would have thought that the most
powerful weapons in this world are people fighting to protect the ones they love..

i am love and greatness..

I heard Something Insightful Yesterday~!!

Me and my work pple had just finished cleaning up..
and we were talkin about girls and boys.. then
rida said.. "Women are easy to love and difficult to understand"
All the guys High-5'ed..!
Enuff Said.. its true innit..?
Uh huh... women are complicated creatures..

Men.. well.. we're men.. you could say we're dull..
and not attentive.. but we really are focused on whats going on..
not so much the feely or emo side of things..
so men are simple men.. that's not always a good thing..
Women are a mystery..which strangly adds to your allure..

but women.. don't expect your man to totally get you..
He is NOT a chick.. well.. most guys aren't..
Please~~~.. just trust that we love ya..
and we are doing our best to understand your ways..
hahaha.. cuz seriously.. its all about the love and trust..
you girls overthink.. and we underthink.. = )
it balances out...

Lazy Afternoon..

Its just another lazy afternoon in andrewtown..
i'm doing my laundry.. and gonna play some guitar before work..

todays post.. is about giving yourself..
now this term is vague but i'll dive right in.
To give yourself wholeheartedly..
is putting yourself in a place of selflessness..
where the only gratification is doing it well.. or making the other happy..
could be to anyone or a hobby you see.. in doing so..
a part of you is embodied in the person or object..

Christmas is almost upon us.. i haven't even done my shopping yet..
my shopping consists of walking around just picking stuff for people..
and usually the more expensive the better..!

but this christmas.. i'll give more heart in my gifts..
Whooo boy.. i shall do my shopping tommrrow..
love ya people..

Leaving on a Jet plane

Its about 4am in the Morning..
Baby's plane should be touching down in Aussie in about 2 hours..!
Hope she has a fun filled holiday there.. let her ease her mind off..
she really deserves it after all that exam stress..
me..? i'll just be livin out my workin days here till she gets back.. Hahaha..
HOw i miss her so.. can't wait till she gets back..
then i'll Give her a MASSIVE hug.. and tell her she's been missed..!

Since working at rouge.. i think PR is right up my alley..
i love talking with people.. sharing.. listening to them..
and many customers actually remember my name
and ask for me when they come back.. makes me feel warm and fuzzy..

the manager of acid bar offered me a bar position at acid..
she says she picks her staff carefully and she wants me..
haha.. well.. i really don't know but i'll take the compliment..

haven't been keeping up on my business books..
really should get summore...!
well good night my sweets

Its been awhile since i had an all night game..
mom's asleep on the couch..
remote control in hand..
i hear the cars zooming along the highway

I just checked baby's blog..
and i was so afraid i might see something i wouldn't like..
she's been feeling terrible..
with her exam stress, i totally understand..
and i spent today worring about her..
i couldn't focus at work.. lost my temper at a collegue..
even during my game.. i played decent..
but my heart wasen't there at all..
running all my ideas of what i did wrong..
or how she's feeling race around my mind..

last night she was having a breakdown..
and i brushed it off with a remark.. i thought i was being encouraging..
she was really hurt..
I was too harsh.. and i take responsibility for that..
sometimes i think i've been out of school so long i forgot what its like..

i need to be responsible for others listening..
sigh i keep forgeting..
I'm sorry sweetheart.. it was mean of me..
i know you felt scared that you had a paper
you felt that since you had no control over the outcome..
that your efforts didn't matter.. that you didn't matter..
but you do.. you matter to me and your family and your friends..
You may think you are worthless.. but let me tell you..
we certianly don't..
Hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me..


life can be really complicated..
the more educated we get..
the more we have to make meaning of words..
ideas concepts principals..
I am right.. u are wrong.. this is how it should be.. and what not..
we feel that by having a stand..
we are grounded.. we MEAN something..
Some people spend their whole lives in search of the truth..
the answers to the meaning of life.. the holy grail.. love ..
whatever your muse..

and the answer to the meaning of life..?
cookies and milk... yup..
a mustard seed.. freedom..
the sparkle of a childs eyes..
peace.. its whatever you want it to be..
when you are creation.. truth is what you say it is..
love is what you say it is.. and life is..
what you say it is..

i have work tomorrow at 5..
i'd better get some shut eye..

Sunday Morning.. 0730 hours.. Captian's log..
Just for your information guys..
i'm bartending already~! Woot~~..
Like everything i'll be objective about it..
everything has its pros and cons..
i miss walking the floor.. talking with pple..
now thats really fun..
but the bar gets so hectic sometimes.. with orders left and right..
and i love that moment of chaos.. fantastic..
as usual.. on my short walks home..
i get inspired by stuff and get clarity in different areas of my life..

Todays post is about inspiration..
this is a strange one..
today i was inspired to do things real quick and finish work chop chop..
cuz i was craving cookies and milk.. which i had on my walk home..
don't know what came over me..
but i was reminded of the times in brunei...
the MOTHAF&!@#$ dense jungle and reduced rations..
my 32 km route march in sispec..
oh the blisters and chaffing..
and the shitty times in army..
and there were ALOT of shitty times...
Times when i would have given up..

This is where i wanna thank my Dearest girlfriend..
TRINA SWEE PING ZHI..!
u have been more of an inspiration to me than you'll ever know..
and i hope that i can be that for you too.. whenever you need me..

Lost and found..

the pressure is mounting as you look in the mirror..
there is no one else.. ur alone..
and scared of what tomorrow may bring..

A forcefull fist shatters, the fragments fall to the ground..
each piece catches your eye as it falls..
each a second of life come and gone..

warmth trickles along your palm..
as you raise it to your eyes to wipe the tears..
and the world shrinks to your room..


I miss writing poems like this.. dark and gloomy..
Suicide notes and butterfly kisses indeed..
its the edgy gothic andrew i'm so confortable with..
but in actual fact.. i'm not gloomy or dark anymore..
i just tuned into who i wanted to be..

i'm really glad.. contented.. = )
sweetie is finishing her exams soon..!
work is fun.. having a blast..
and i have my health.. hahaha..

Smack Dab...

MOrning everyone..
had a long day at work but strangly i can't get to sleep..
i revalation hit me just now on my walk back from work..
its about realtionships.. now i love trina very much..
Sweetie don't over think anything i say k..?
these just happen to be perspectives that ran past me.. <3
and anyone else who might take away something insightful?
ur more than welcome to..

i've always thought of myself as a great boyfriend..
the type who would literally do anything to MAKE IT work..
change myself.. talk.. be more of this or less of that..
here is revalation number one..
Choose to have it work or not work.. powerfully..
what would be if it does work..?
is it a bad thing that i doesn't work..?
Failing in a realtioship doesn't make you a bad boyfriend OR girlfriend..
its just what YOU want.. and again.. choose powerfully..
questions like.. are you really happy..? can you be yourself..?
can you love him/her for who they really are..?
it could be as simple as choosing powerfully..
not based on fear or lonelyness or failure..

number two.. who are you with your partner..?
i realise when i'm with trina..
i'm alot more serious.. more practical.. and strangly cautious..
i try to be supportive and i'm focused as a person..
now question.. is that who i really am..?
does she make me act this way..?
hell NO! not at all but i choose to be like this..
this is where i goofed..
who do you let yourself be in front of the one you love..
i'm silly.. charming.. directed.. relaxed..
and i don't show it to her.. my bad.. = )
so... who are you with that someone..?

remember.. not to love someone for who they will be or
what you want them to be..
but really.. for who they are..

that Iz all.. thank you ladies and gents..
i think i finally feel that sleepy bug coming on..
Lots of love.. ME~!

Morning all~~!

I just got back from work.. its about... 6.30Am..
and todat being rouge's 3rd annaversary..
the floor staff got to drink when customers offered..
Man.. i had so muhc martell and chivas its not funny..
and smirnoff and long island tea too.. ugh...
i have to do an important song and dance audition tomorrow..
and to be honest.. i had to enter my password 3 times to enter blogger..
so sad right..? sigh all my regulars ask me to drink..
lim beh buah sai.. lim jiu wo ai buay tahan.. lim beh kana nah kong.. (hokkien)
one guy had me finish a glass of martell and a Teensie bit of green tea.. omg..
super had sia..drinking water now to sober up.. shit.. the stuff i get myself into..

well i'm gonna stay up and practice my dance routine till the audition tomorrow at 830am..
for those of you who think i have it easy..
i'm about to smack you over the head..

anyways lotsa love..
and a happy sunday for all of you..
its off to the showers for me..

Learning to fly..

Life's funny isn't it.. all that jazz about being positive..
mumbo jumbo of but a past we all try to live against..
i'm looking to the sky to save me.. looking for a sign of life..
foo fighters really is my core band..
the first influential rock pop band that really hit me..

Friends are in pain.. all fighting battles in their head of what is and what should be..
Greatfulness and aknowledgment for all things big and small is where we should look..
i aknowledge having a great supportive family..
a mother that is working so hard to provide for her kids.. true greatness..
a sister that never lets me forget how immense my possibilities for life and greatness are..
a brother that would give his arm for me if i asked.. maybe 2..
a dad that worked hard to provide for his family the best he could.. and set the bar High in the sky for us kids.. showing me that though you left big shoes to fill.. you were just wearing them in for me.. god bless you..! and thanks for the genes~~!

True friends that love me for who i am.. cooky and bizarre.. with a dash of insanity..
a girlfriend that has picked up the pieces time after time.. it isn't easy for her.. but she keeps pushing forth for a magnificant future.. cuz she see's it.. its foggy but its there.. I appreciate it babe~~!

and you.. for taking the time to read this..
what are you greatful for..?

Oh Baby..

This post is for my Lil princess..
She's Absoultly amazing..
and i love her so much i'm kinda left speechless.. hahaha..
But Like many other girls her concepts for life leave me pulling out my hair..
And Here's the thing.. most guys like myself just will never get it.. = )
She is a handfull i'll tell you that.. hahaha

Absolutly blinding.. I keep banging my head against the wall..
cuz i DON'T get it..!!!! hahaha.. sigh.. sadness.. = )
but it's all good.. i'm taking it in stride and having a good laugh..

ladies.. You gals live in a totally different RELAM from us guys..
Here's a tip.. give your man a break once in awhile yah..?
even if its letting get away with little things..
Men in general are a simple race.. and we are easy to please too..
an ice cold beer with friends..
walking around the house in our underwear..
my personal favourate.. not doing ANYTHING..
and we love to make our girlfriends or wives happy..
you just gotta tell us how.. = )

And Although her logic beseaches me..

I can't help but love her..!

now THATS strange logic..

Lotsa Love!! i'm going to crawl back into bed...
uuuhhhhh....

Wow.. Quick Post..

i've just got home.. and what a day at work..
we had a function at Rouge today..
and it finished at 1.00.. so clean up and pack up done..
So we head down.. and most of us stop by acid bar..
and the band is calling for staff to come up and play..
so i'm like.. Jas( my manager).. i play u sing..?
lets go for it balls.. i play krama police by radiohead and he sings..
haha no doubt its a lil sketchy.. but it was so FUN!
in front of a 20+ crowd.. hahaha..
WHoOoOo~~!

ANd.. on top of that..
my manager told me i could start basic bar training on wed..!
well.. we're short of floor staff so i gotta double up and serve drinks too..
But well.. its a start

nites nties...
Lotsa love!

Story Time...

Hey friends.. let me tell you a story..
hopefully i'll leave you touch, moved, inspired..
Or if i'm lucky.. all of the above.. = )
Here we go..

A man was walking along a path one day..
Not watching where he was going,
he Suddenly fell into a hole in the ground..
The hole was deep and the walls were steep..

Now along comes a doctor..
so the man shouts:
"Doc can you help me out of this hole!"

the doctor scribbles a prescription..
drops it in the hole.. and walks on by..

Then along comes a priest..
And the man shouts:
"Father can you Help me out!"

The Priest writes down a prayer..
and drops it in the hole..

Now a friend walks by..
And the man Shouts:
"Joe can you help me out of this hole!"

His friend says says nothing..
and jumps into the hole with him..




Now our dear friend is just as puzzled as you probably are now..
and he says:
" Joe Are you Crazy?! now we're BOTh stuck down here! What were you thinking!"
and joe says:
"i jumped down cuz i've been down this hole before, and i know the way out."



Friends.. They sure are something aren't they..
Even when ur down and out.. they go the extra mile for you..
lotsa love..

Hey It So bright and Sunny Eh~~??
The weather is warm and the Grass shines in the dew..
God.. Most of you are asking if i'm living in the same Singapore as you..

The weather.. What a Doozie.. if it ain't gloomy its humid and pouring..
certianly not joyful or anything of the sort.. but well.. i figure..
i don't need the weather to make me happy.. Lolx.

Oh.. yea.. 2 annoucements..!@#!@$$

i'll prolly be bringing in some Funkie crumpler bags from Hk..
Prices to be confirmed... BUT.. it'll definatly be ALOt cheaper than the boutique..
If ur interested tag ME~! n Tell ya friends yah..?

Number TOOo..
ME working at Rouge means i gotta do advertising for them..
lolx.. not reallie la.. but the manager of acid bar "olivia"
asked me if i had any firends who wanted to work there..?
need full time bartender and part time floor staff..
Anyone interested..??
as usual.. if u are tag me or sms me..

well pple.. i will end my entry with..
Have a good one.. it's aussie slang for have a good day..
God i love them aussies..

Have a good One..

What the F***..

Morning everyone.. i finished work about half an hour ago..
and i'm fucking dead beat tired..
thats basically the meaning of the title..

Today was totally crazy.. but i'm home and about to hit the sack..
time to knock off..


have a good one pple.. lotsa love

Stare at the Sun..

Any of you guys heard of thrice..?
Well.. There are alot of bands out there i like but
Ifi had to pick one..
This has got the be MY favourate..
People have the notion that rock is all head banging and screaming..
But I suprises me how i draw strength from their lyrics..
My princess has been feeling lost..
and i wanna share with her what gives me strength..

This Song is called
"the Melting point of wax"

I've waited for this moment

All my life and more

And now I see so clearly

What I could not see before.

The time is now or never

This chance won't come again

Throw caution and myself into the wind.

There's no promise of safety with these secondhand wings

But I'm willing to find out what impossible means.

A leap of faith.

Parody of an angel

Miles above the sea

I hear the voice of reason

Screaming after me

"You've flown far too high boy now you're too close to the sun,

Soon your makeshift wings will come undone

"But how will I know limits from lies

if I never try?"

Be Strength my dear..

i'll shield you from bullets and rain..

Let the weight of the world crumble

before i do.. that harm shall come unto you..

let my love be strength..

In this pasage of a lifetime..

Three days Grace..

Your bottle's almost empty..
You know this can't end well..
Because of you my mind is always racing..
The needles breaking your skin
the stories sinking in..
and now your trip begins but its all over..
its all over for you..
for you..

when your on the edge and falling off..
Its all over..
i know what runs through your blood..
You do this all in vain..
because of you my mind is always racing..

and now you're dead inside..
Still you wonder why..



I Love my rock.. absolutly can't live without it.. and there're so many cool albums to listen to.. My chemical romance has released The Black Parade. Taking back sunday has released Louder Now.. Ohh.. this is a good one.. I am Ghost has Lovers Requiem..
The Black maria has A Shared History of Tradgey.. Three Days Grace has Onex..
Tsk tsk.. a feast for the senses..

Rock has always been a safe haven for my pain and lost.. a drug to release all shackled inside.. To which i'll be eternally greatful..

Mr Nice Guy

OKay.. i'm just gonna rant.. and this is coming from a place..
that well.. simply put its just buzzings in my head.. so ..
okay..

Mr nice guy.. working at rogue and acid bar.. i see a tonne of guys..
now these guys come in with different girls each night.. pretty girls..
and they open bottles of hennesy or black label.. averaging $250 a bottle..
strange thing.. and don't go judging me.. but i always thought i'd be like that..
you know, the ladies man.. with pretty girls.. drinks are always on me..

but.. know what.. i find that as far back as i can remember..
as much as i wanted to do All out flirting with girls..
i just never have been able to.. its like.. the fibres in me are wired..
to BE.. Mr Nice guy.. don't listen to my friends.. they'll say ii'm a Biach..
*grinx*.. Turns out i'm inhibited to DO stuff like that..
Seducing a girl with booze and waiting for her to mess up..
i just can't.. cuz well.. i have a sister..
and i'd kill anyone who even tries something like that..

ah well.. looks like i'll always be the dorky guy who does the right thing..
sends the girl home in a cab.. home safe.. and pay the fare..
that is.. on the OFF chance i'm not drunk myself..

well its in the wiring.. and i'm not gonna fight it..
i have and always be the goofy funny mr nice guy..




NIGHT everybody~!

Living on a Prayer..

Hello Cyberspace.. Its 4.11Am.. n well..
i've been really grudging to blog recently..
not cuz of work hours or cuz i'm tired of it..
but.. strangest thing.. there's so much going on in my head..
little flashes of brilliance or idiocy.. i got both you see..
that.. well.. its so confusing.. and i don't wanna get into it..
its not BAD stuff or GOOD stuff in particular.. just.. STUFF.. = )

Should i blog something meaningful for example..?
cuz god knows it'll REACH the masses.. including me.. that makes.. um..
hmm.. plus 1... carry the 4..

one..

Haha.. i COULD make a statement about moral standpoints and views..
or how i can't stand ah lians.. or the haze..
but Nahhh.. who wants to hear that.. love you guys~

There he is..
You sit there on your heartache..

i know what i feels like... time after time..
it just squeezes me dry..
i feel like such a fool.. too bad for me..
it just sucks.. to be..

the devils water it ain't so sweet..
you don't have to drink right now..
but you can dip your feet..
every once in awhilee..

Unfamilar...

Its about 4.15am..? today went well.. smooth sailing n stuff..
I saw that model\actress desiree.. i think thats how you spell her name..
yea.. thats something to mention.. boring day at work otherwise.. haha..

Finally got insipired to pick up my guitar again..
and i am So out of touch.. my chords sound off, scaling is slow..
i can't seem to get the sound i want from my pedal..
i find it hard to think of songs to play even.. sheesh..
all that adds up to.. i need to practice..!
grinx.. oh and another thing..

i got my hair cut at Ashley's salon..!
my bro and sis have been raving about this FAB gay hairdresser..
whose haircut is an EXPERIENCE.. haha well..
yea.. it was pretty good.. but i can't seem to style it like he did the next day..
haha.. take a gander.. its my new hair Du..



Not to far off from my usual.. but i like it..
styling possibilities are more and it's more flexible..

did i mention tt trina bought me lunch To my house
the other day.. omg.. she is such a sweetheart..!
gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling inside..
the kind you get when..
you have that first taste of a freshly poured beer..
or when um.. a baby is born.. Yah! thats what i meant..
Thanks for making that day so wonderful babe~!

much love to um... well everyone i guess..!
come on... who doesn't like love~~..

From moi

Job Week..!

i remember being a little kiddy cadet scout..
in my scout cap and my short beyond short shorts.. *mental picutre*
Remember when kid scouts would come and do jobs at your place for cash..?
Haha.. Job week.. those were the daes yah..?

Well now its almost been a my first week AT the job..
didn't relly tell everyone but i'm actually serving at club Rogue..
Haha.. its not too bad actually once you get used to the timings..
its alot of running around and taking orders but its actually pretty fun..
Hahaha.. today one of the young business womeny customers actually flirted with me..
and a guy from that same table offered me a shot..! luckily my floor manager was like..
"okay okay faster drink~!" haha its one shot.. but still my first free DRINK!
so i drank.. thanked them.. and *woosH*.. back to work.. Hahaha~..

well its what now..? 4am in the morning..? and i just got home..
muching on the delicious pepperidge farm cookies my beloved bought me this afternoon~..!
she's really the greatest.. Love ya Hunn~~!
with your cookies i won't go hungry.. = )

i have something to say.. recently i've been a crappy friend..
to tris and zack.. and even my cj class..
thanks for asking me out and everything..
i really do wanna hang out and do nuthin..
but i can't i really hope you understand.. espically tris..
i haven't spoken to you since sat.. haha.. i hope ur doing good..
i miss the old days when i was schooling or serving our nation..
when we could so called.. "fly by the seat of our pants.."
haha.. well.. thats life ain't it..?

hate to end this post short.. but the bed awaits~!
sweet dreams of nothing and everything..
Here's a toast.. i'm drinking water out of an absolut bottle by the way..
Life is short.. Live to the full..
for yourself.. and yourself in others..
to those who live life..

Hola All..

It is i.. just a lil update on whats been going on.. Hmmm..
well for starters..i've been helping out with my jie jie's speech therapy center..
Talking to her about how to brand the company andother
very interesting business-Ssy stuff.. totally learning alot..
and been reading up on marketing and branding books too~!
the one trina bought for me was Espicially good..! its called "right side up"
Love ya hun~! we're looking at doing postcards.. and talking to school boards..
doing ads in yahoo and magazines..

i've decided to get a job while waiting for school and helping jie part time..
possibly teaching at maris stella..*Beams* how awsome would that be~!
applied at MOE already.. so thats underway.. and applying myself
to ads in the classifieds.. i think this time round i'm intent on getting there..
guys if ya got lobang Call Moi~.. haha...

i realised something.. There are tonnes of Tv shows that have...
Messages that are really powerful..
one liners that talk about life.. love.. being.. those around us.. and ourselves..
and they may come from a comedy or a drama serial.. but they make sense~!
and besides.. its fun.. all in good fun.. i feel great.. happy.. connected.. directed..

Just Caught under one roof.. Remember Singapore's first comedic family..?
Just Gotta say.. the Jokes take on a whole new dimention now..
its so smart.. Bear in mind this was the really realy seasons.. it kinda died later on..
And wow.. it's SO singaporean.. no wonder people could realate to it..


i think life is really about being out there.. and you never know what you want..
till you know what its all about.. whats love..? the meaning of life..? money..?
So lets all look.. not for money, love or life..
but understanding..


and besides
if you are in good company.. it'll always turn out alright.. = )
Lotsa Love.. From Moi~..

Such a Happy Camper~!

My Oh My..
Today i feel so.. giddily and UN-naturally happy..
not like.. striking lottery happy.. but today was so...
Easy going.. YEt productive..
and my dear trina is having such a hectic day..
ugh.. poor dear.. only wish i could help more..

Today i shall Unvail~.. my 2 latest aquisitions..!



Here Iz a swanky bottle of Russian Vodka..
however its spelt.. "BODKA" on the bottle..
its just gets me calm looking at the bottle..
not understanding a word on the bottle..
being that the lettering mostly is in Russian..
but Hell.. thinking of burly russian men..
gathered round and forcing down this rough drink..
makes me feel like we share a common bond as
alcoholic men.. yes..

Its exciting to drink from a bottle whose written language
you pretty much have to decipher..
it could be paint thinner for all i know.. Yummm.. hahax
this is gonna be Fun!


Moving on~~..




Alright guys.. absinthe.. is my new poison of chioce..
This Is my new bottle of absinth~..! its a crazy ass drink..
Freakin 70% alc volume..! i mean They probably Fly ROCKETS on this kinda fuel!
FYi absinthe is supposedly the drink that has hallucinogenic
properties.. great writers and artists used to drink this
stuff.. and the crazy eye on the bottle.. haha well lets hope i
see some stuff.. that would be AWsome~~.. i have an
opened bottle of 50% absinthe now and lemmie tell you.. that stuff is a Blast.. i can't even imagine how this one is
gonna blow my mind..









And lookie here.. Probable poster boy for Absinthe..??
= ) i look so happy.. awwhhh..
kinda creepy too.. what grown man huggs a bottle..
Hahax.. Lotsa love.. from Moi~

Hug hug Kiss kiss

You know.. that story..? haha.. i don't even think it has a name..
but i'll try to describe it.. if i can remeber it right..

the story is based on weird circumstances.. so don't judge it
or make any wise cracks.. cuz its just a friggin story.. just LISTEN~!
let me tell it.. everyone's gotta be a wise guy.. = )

OKAY..
it revolves around a group of men..
who went to hell and are strapped in onto a bench..
and the table is like 2 meters away..
and they each have a bowl of food on the table..
and 2 meter spoons.. so they are all psyco moto idiots..
and they can't feed themselves..
so they bitch and whine and complain..
NO suprise there..

whilst complaining~~~
one of the men catches something in the corner of his eye..
Off in the distance.. low and behold.. is table 2~!
Convienently located in heaven.. my my..
now he squints.. expecting grand tables and all you can eat..
(you get the picture.. angels.. harps.. wine and food.. )

but..~! he see's another unfortunate bunch..
stuck in the same prediciment he and his amigos are in..
so he mutters.. bunch of poor saps..

but hold the Phone~..! everyone from the other table fills their spoon..
turns left or right.. and starts feeding his pal..~!
their white gowns may get a little messy but hey~..
everyone gets fed..!

teamwork.. its a funny thing.. it works so well..
but pple just don't seem to wanna be a part of it..

i feel like a can offer so much more to my friends and family and girlfirend..
i wana be a force in my life and yours.. and have a good time doing it...= )
if only you let me..

Fact is.. life is not a spectator sport..
life's a game.. and weather you like it.. or not..
its on ALL the time.. so its Win lose or draw.. right?
it may look clear that things are a simple win lose or draw..
but STOP~! really step back.. hold it for just a sec..


here's what i think..
some people win.. do whatever it takes..
step on friends.. lose their loved ones.. (like a friend i know)
now they have money.. respect.. and they have won..

life isn't about winning at all.. is it..?
its has and always will be.. about how you play the game..
much love.. from the ever yakkin..
ME... hughug kiss kiss..





and joe joe..! so gald i called ya man.. you know i'm there for ya~..

Everydays' a struggle..

how's your day..? could it be like mine..? you know..
obstacles in life, family, work and love crop up sometimes..
why does ot feel like it happens more to me..?
it could just be that i'm selfish and
i sympathise with myself so much more than others..
i don't know..

it sucks.. its like non stop.. one after the other..
*breathe deep* try to relax..
but the waves keep rocking the boat..
and i.. am at the mercy of this roller coaster of a ride called life..

why can't things work out EASIER..
i didn't say easy.. but just easier..~
i'm an honest dude.. easy on the eyes.. pretty sharp too..
don't i get a break..? man.. why do i even bother..
its like talking to a wall.. the sounds just bounce off
and come back to me..

sigh..
just shoot me.. for god's sake..
put a gun to my head and yank the trigger..
cuz its crazy~.. how can people live life like this..
every damn thing you have to fight for..
just to be happy..

happy.. what a price to pay..

Let it Be

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

How Wicked..

its so strange.. i was reading ronghui's msn nick..
it says.. "it'll stop hurting, once i get used to it"
Wow.. that really hits a chord..
messages really come in different shapes and sizes..

SOrry to hear whats going on buddy..
i don't know but i hope things are fine.. = )

sometimes.. when u hurt.. getting used to it..
and denying it TO hurt.. doesn't get us anywhere..
aknowledge the hurt.. don't deny it..
love ya mates.. = )

Looking from the OUtside In..

I'm normally not the type to watch chinese shows..
but mom happened to switch it on.. like most shows its about family..

Men have it tough.. we try to do so much for the ones we love..
and its scary to share our worries with the ones we love..
So this guy.. he's a good man.. works hard.. mild demior..
loves his family.. and is filial to his parents..

now he's going through a rough time.. dad passes away.. lost his job..
and wife suspects he's having an affair..
and he has to put a a strong face.. and his wife isn't making it easy..
she doesn't trust him as far as she can throw him..
cuz she has a ll these stories in her head about him being a cheat..
and a liar amongst many things..

He's where it hits home.. i feel many of my friends think i'm this and that..
when i'm not.. = ).. so let me tell you a lil about me.. things that u might
have gotten wrong in the past..

that i'm a ladies man.. i know how to be flirty, and the right things to say.. but i don't.. haha.. hard to believe maybe.. i dunno.. actually i'm really nerdy and personally i think "getting with girls" is low.. i hate it when other guys do it.. can't respect that.. altho i may say otherwise sometimes..

That i have everything under control.. and that i haven't got any problems.. truth is.. if you have problems and ur willing to talk about it.. ur better off than me.. cuz i LIKE to act like everything is just fine and dandy all the time.. but sometimes.. i have my fair share of low lows.. so there.. i STILL give good advice tho~.. = )

That i don't care about my friends.. THIS one.. here's the thing.. i guess i don't really know how to be a good friend.. and i apologise if sometimes i don't do right by you guys.. i know i could spend more times with you and talk to you guys more.. my marist buddies.. how much i treasure you guys.. i mean.. we grew up together.. sorry for always baggin on ya joe.. and thanks for putting up with me guys and still including me in shit.. it means the world..

here's some random rantings.. i love my momma.. yea i'm a momma's boy.. haha can't help it.. i'm a guys guy.. i love to have a drink and i'm just as clueles abot relationships as the next male.. cuz lets be honest.. u women are from a different world.. haha.. no offence.. its a joke.. i DO my best in the things i love.. for the pple i love.. just ask isaac.. we climbed our hearts out.. that was love man.. the only time u could drag us away from walls was when our hands couldn't grip anymore.. i loved climbing.. i really appreciate my girlfriend.. i know i tell you guys we have problems here and there.. and that its tough on me sometimes.. but i know what..? she means the world to me.. i'd take a bullet for her and she does so much for me.. we're in a great place now.. from here we're like a fine french wine.. we'll get better with age and time.. Love ya Babe~!

Now u know.. = )..

"Angels Cry"

Well it's hard to explain but I'll try if you let me
Well its hard to sustain
I'll cry if you let me
This doesn't change the way I feel about you or your place in my life
(please don't cry)

Can't you see I'm dying here?
A shot of broken heart that is chased with fear
Angels cry when stars collide
I can't eat and I can't breathe
I wouldn't want it any other way

Intentions that were pure have turned obscure
Seconds into hours, Minutes into years
Don't ask me why (please don't cry)

I cant tell you lies
Angels cry when stars collide
I can't eat and I can't breathe
I wouldn't want it any other way.



Why..? cuz angels Do cry..
lets be honest here.. we can't live a fairytale life..
nodoby can.. if u think so.. you are dreaming..
we all wish it was happy and simple every day..
so pure and simple..
but we all have our moments..
we will have our moments..

XOXOXO

Heya~.. its 4 and i have trouble sleeping.. so i blog.. = )

STRAWBERRY GEn. . .
Does that mean anything to you..? or do i sound like i've been hitting the bottle again..?? *grin*.. if you read the papers yesterday you'd know.. The article is about a man.. he's 25 years old and has jumped 10 jobs in 5 years.. funny thing is that, this is a strange cultural thing in taiwan recently.. why the of all fruit, the strawberry generation, you might ask..?

As in all things in life a cute metaphor eases the tension and brings forth LIGHT..
Thus the "STRAWBERRY" metaphor.. Simply cuz it, as a fruit.. It Bruses easily..
Now it doesn't sound so GLAM all of a sudden eh..? kinda insulting too..
Sounds so sweet but its an outright atack.. mmMm... stings a lil too.. haha..

Maybe as a generation we are Too taken care of.. we don't know hardship..
i know it never seems that way.. we always think our shoes are the hardest to walk a mile in.
and different people go through different lives.. but if you could drop your pride..
and just look at our society for a moment.. at you AND me and all thats around us..
It would seem the TAIWANese aren't the only ones with this problem..

this is just me..
I never once wondered how the dishes magicially seemed to be clean and ready..
when and where i needed them.. when the maid left.. I found out..!
when i was assigned dishes.. i actually complained.. a hell of alot too..
i also complained that mom should pay for my education..
my uni and whatnot.. even got a lil upset about it.. Does she really HAVE to..
hell no.. but I thought so.. she's done so much over the years for me.. yup..
this is a sappy me and my mommy moment~ i'm not gonna lie and be MACHO about it..
So there.. she didn't have to pay a single cent.. but i thought she owed me a LIVING..

I probably am a strawberry.. brought up too well and bruse easily..
well for now that is.. life isn't all doing what we like..
its just an observation..
look at your life.. and see if maybe you ARE that PROVERBEAL strawberry..

BASKETBALL

Here's the story of 2 basketballers.. whom i actually saw at the cainhill CC just now.. haha.. and i had this breakthrough.. and like WHOA..

so check it out..
basketballer number one.. he's from china.. mid forties.. wears a singlet and like.. those khaki work pants..? but short ones and has those thick square framed glasses.. Just imagine la.. he doesn't play too good.. i was observing how he only looked at the hoop when he had the ball and not his team mates.. took wild shots and lets say was.. 3 out of ten for shooting..

SO Basketballer number two.. also from china.. mid to late twenties.. totally geared up in balling gear.. headband.. NIKE singlet and shorts.. AND1 shoes.. shoots well.. can't really communicate with his buddies but nails 3 point shots again and again.. he SCORES points.. and he does it well..~

2 totally different players.. well.. with the exception that they are both from the same motherland.. = ) Good player.. and bad player..

for explaination they played different games.. so player one was in game one.. and player two in a later game.. NOW.. you would assume that the team with player TWO would be MUCH better off.. wouldn't you..? he makes shots.. goes for the basket fast.. and scores points~!


here's the thing.. teams these players were on.. both lost..!
LOGICAL deduction...?!?! china players lose games..?
far from it..!

these teams trailed the games early.. and never caught up and ended up losing badly.. and in that moment i saw what created winning teams..
team mates who were more intent on creating opportunities for OTHERS to score, rather THEN taking it themselves.. no matter HOW good they WERE.. when the opposing team passed the ball around it was poetry in motion.. none of them was particularly good.. but they kept scoring..! cuz one guy always had a good opportunity created by a teammate.. Creating possibility in others eh..? hmmm.. and when the whistle blew.. suprise suprise.. they WON..

when the match was over.. no one congraulated the china guy who scored points.. not one.. everyone patted the guy who assisted MAKING the goals.. helping a buddy in making it possible..! i WAS amazed~!

couple of days back.. i was on course..
and i made the stand to be greatness in other people..
that i would be and would help move and inspire others to achive the same..
and i saw.. how meaningful life would be.. to "pass the ball so others can score"
its simple to shoot and score.. live life for yourself..
but if AND when you do reach that goal.. what about everyone else...?

and then you would say..
"the meaning of life sure is lonely"
To all my friends.. who do or have at one point in time visited my blog..
i love you guys.. i may not spend my time with you..
i'm lazy that way.. but wow.. thanks..

Cry..

As the rope tightens.. it bites into my skin..
from a height a drop into the water..
the red spirals.. lingers like a dance..

thicker than water.. why so forlorn..
ignoring the streams.. of tears and blood..
as he looks for a light in this darkness..

he is blind.. a shroud cast over his eyes..
never meant to see.. a world that plagues him..
his chance at life.. hindered from the start..

if only he could see..
if only.. he could see...







Let me Be perfectly honest and vunerable here..
i have been feeling lousy.. i was just outside my place..
sipping a cup of coffee.. and being really worried..
letting the cool breeze bush my skin..

you know.. alot of the time..
i feel like the guy who wears the dunce hat in the corner of class..
i'm so scared of life..
that i will not make it.. that maybe i'm the idiot..
sheesh.. it kills me.. that i see that i may never be
the man i want to be..
is the thought of dying so wrong..?

put aside everyone else for a moment..
i do set my expectations for myself high..
if i could cry i would.. maybe i am biting much more than i can handle..
i should just be a farmboy in the country..

a feel so.. ashamed that i might be letting myself down..
smile for the camera.. and cry when no one is looking..

PIE...

I like PIE.. do you..? Its like an Eternal Good..
Hmm.. its simple.. fruit in pastry.. or meat..
whatever it is.. Eternal good..
Now i KNOW what you are thinking..
and i am NOT DRUNK...

Its Simple..
i meant to lead up to something influencial..
let me see.. well....hmmm..
Okay.. here it is.. Life isn't simple..
i wonder if everyone goes through their fair share of hardships..
some people make pie.. others eat it.. and well..
the majority.. make AND eat thier own pie..

I really wish it WAS all as simple as pie..
i mean.. life ain't really what its cracked up to be innit..?
i guess we all have our struggles..
i want it SO bad.. but its like the cards just aren't lookin my way..
you know those people who just seem to get whatever they want..
like it was all too easy..

for once... just once.. i want something To fall my way..
i feel like i had to fight for everything..
to prove i deserved it..
Ocs..
with my siblings..
with school..
relationships..
whatever..

alas.. blessed be those who lead charmed lives..
PIe.. its all about the pie..

DXO...

What can i say.. and excuse my french.. what a mothaf***ing nightmare..
Easily one of my WORST clubbing experiences..~ it was wayyy too HOT~..
Too crowded.. and The Drinks took 30 Mins.. the crowd was WAyy young..
Let me make it a point never to go there again..

take me somewhere the crowd is older and drinks come easier..

Amazed..

This Morning.. Trina came all the way down to my place..
with lunch and cookies.. snapple and soup.. !
There couldn't be a MORE outward expression of love..
I mean.. i think about it NOW.. @ 4 in the morning..
And it Still blows my mind..~ i mean Wow..!
She came ALL the way down here and she was happy to..!
I felt so touched.. moved.. i Am indeed blessed..

Don't get me wrong.. she's done this before..
and i trip down to her place too.. but..
Today felt special.. like It was all for me..
little ole me.. *Beams*

Here's to you.. today was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me..
i felt your effort and saw unconditional love..
i feel weird.. coming from the point of Me taking care of you..
but OUr brand new start.. feels.. so RIGHT..
you took care of me.. and it all makes sense..
like the pieces that were missing.. are now right in front of us..
Its so easy to say.. there'll never be anyone else for me..
cuz i really feel like i can love you a lifetime.. and more..

the world is your corn soup..
Or OUR cornsoup.. ! = )

I feel so.. Tiny.. Teenie tiny..~

You guys are Right..! i HAVE lost a tonne of weight..
Wow.. better start exercising more.. = )
i Mean seriously look at me.. Ghandi had more meat
on his bones~..! any more of this and
i might shrivel like a prune...
In Singapore terms.. i'll look like a SEng Bui ..
= )..

My Dear friends.. i feel all warm and fluffy..
~..:: HUGS for EVERYONE ::..~
Be happy.. live life..

Thats all from an overly giddy Guy..
Loads of love~..

Hey All..

I know recently i've been on an emotional roller coaster..
The Low Low LOWs... and High Highs..
I think I've grown.. Ugh.. here's the thing..
GROWING HURTS..It takes adversity to really shake you up..
But i've never been clearer.. happier.. more Free..
i've gotta say.. its a change..

Now its like.. succeeding.. is not an OPTION..
Its a Must.. i'll do whatever it takes..
WITHOUT having to kill someone.. hahax..
we still gotta laugh right..?

Lets do this~

I wish i knew..

Just Got back from BAYBEATS..
It was pretty good.. a couple of good bands..
managed to lift my spirits a little..

I'm having a frightful headache..
I feel saddened... a little mad..
the voice of reason in my head is screaming...
i wouldn't stand for this.. i shouldn't..

I wonder if the EINSTEIN's law of equal and opposite reaction apply..
you know.. every action results in an equal and opposite reaction..
i feel like i'm slowly losing grip..
i definatly won't deny the lingering why bothers..
i am simple.. maybe too simple..

looks like some things in life are more worthwhile
than others.. love... me..

I AM...

This post is entitled i AM..basically its all the things i'm feeling..
i AM..

1) confused.. but open.. i thought that honesty and commitment were
all that was needed to build something.. hmm.. truth is.. life isn't
THAT easy.. haha.. but i know that hard work and effort will see me through..
I sound so.. erm.. idealistic don't i.. hahaha..

2)refeshed.. just because in me being open with everyone.. i feel..
that i don't need to be worried about having to censor.. or restrict myself..
and also.. people in turn.. are more open and positive towards me..
i appreciate it all i really do.. = )

3)worried.. that there's so much to do in life.. and i need to find MY way to
get there.. its a lil scary sometimes.. the things you want seem just
so far away and there are so many things in your way.. but have faith..
and take the steps to Make your own way there..

4)good.. i feel good.. strange good.. like i JUST can't put my finger on it..
but there's a good buzzing in my head.. one that says.. everything will be
ALRIGHT..

So much for my post everyone..
i hope that you can draw from these feelings..
take something positive home in a doggy bag..
love you guys..